Saturday, October 27, 2012

Submitting

I have NEVER done this but I though I would do a post linked to one of my friends blogs about submission to authority. Before you read this post to understand it better you need to read the original post here.

The first lesson any kid learns is to obey their parents and later obey adults, one of the ten commandments even says it. Kids grow up learning to respect their parents and adults and sure they test boundaries which is all part of the learning experience of growing up.  No matter how old you are you still have to submit to people whether your 18 or 180. At work you have to submit to your boss and supervisors, even if you own your own business you have to submit to the people you hire and customers. You also have to submit to laws which are put there to protect you. Learning to submit is a key part of growing up.

Sometimes submitting isn't easy yet we all continue to do it. Many Christians have been killed because they have submitted to people who are Anti Christian both now and in the bible times. So why do we continue to submit? Simply because God tells us too, sure its never going to be easy to submit but we should. Most people feel need to always question authority (I admit to doing it at times) but should we? The answer is no, everyone needs to submit freely just as the bible tells us too. Sure at times its not going to be easy but we have to realise that Christians are just passing through this world and God is ALWAYS in control.

When I get married I will have to submit to my husband because the bible cleary tells me to, in Genesis 3:16 the bible says to Eve (referred to as the woman) that her desire will be for her husband and the he will rule over her. In this day and age it isn't easy as the media tells women that they should equal with their husbands (and partners) which isn't true and in life someone will always have the final say in decisions and in marriage the husband does. My parents have been married for just over 20 years and I have seen my Mum submit to my Dad when its been hard but she has and though she has not always agreed on my Dad's final decision it has made their marriage stronger.

Submitting is never going to be easy but we just need to trust that God knows what he is doing and realise that there is always a bigger picture.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Getting rid of the words that scar me

***Before I begin this post please note I am only doing this for me, if it offends you in anyway please move on***

I have written about me being bullied before and how it made my life misrable, well sure now I'm not in school I don't have to worry about it yet I still do as the scars are there sure not visable but mental. Because of bullying I doubt myself and have little self confidence. Because of bullying I avoid social situations where people who bullied me may show up at. Because of bullying I feel I am being consistiently judge. Because of bullying it takes me a while to fully trust people. Because of bullying it takes time for me to be myself around people. All this has occured because of bullying and it sucks and it has wrecked me but I am slowly picking myself up and leaving the bullying in the past in a big dusty box locked with a million locks which is never to be opened again. One day I will show the people who bullied that it hasn't broken and that I am successful and happy with how I am. Sure it will take time but I am ready to get rid of the scars and not cover them and use them for an excuse. Being bullied may have made my school years hell but they won't make now or the future hell.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Just for the sake of it

I thought I would so something just for the sake of it so when I saw this on one of the blogs I read I decided to do it.

Obsessing over: Pintrest, my new shelves (finally got some, so I was able to replace my desk) which my sis and I just finished putting together and filling, the film Pitch Perfect 
Working on: Long Term: Getting my anxiety/panic attacks sorted and finding part time work. Short Term: heading to bed to read
Thinking about: How the friends who you see online on Facebook are selected (you know how it lists people online with people offline too, I always thought it was the people you chat and communicate to the most but I'm not so sure now). Yes its weird but thats just how my mind is at the moment.
Anticipating: The DVD release of Terra Nova (18 days to go!), the release of Pitch Perfect, getting my anxiety/panic attacks sorting, church camp
Listening to: a playlist on iTunes called 'Times' which has a mix of Glee, the Lemonade Mouth soundtrack and Britt Nicole, it has encouraging music on it.
Drinking:Diet Coke (caffiene free) and water
Wishing Praying: That I will find the perfect job at the perfect time

Thursday, October 4, 2012

One Day

Today I began my first step towards gaining control of my anxiety I went to a psycologist. I had no idea what to expect the last time I went to one was when I was 12 and that wasn't the most enjoyable experience and then once I got to high school I saw the school conselour and that was that.

I found myself at ease with her (my pyscologist) and she explained to me that the attacks I have been having are Panic Attacks and the most extreme of attacks people who have anxiety get, the good news is that with treatment I should be able to get on with my life without having to worry about having the attacks affecting me. She also said that though even if I did get another job I would most likely still have an attack no matter how many hours it was and until I got treatment they would still happen so I am thankful that I am getting treatment and that soon I will be able to live without the attacks. I'm not expecting it to be easy but I KNOW I can stop the attacks with her help.

I asked why after so many years of not having the attacks I have had a lot and she said it was because I learnt (subconsiously) to avoid situations that may cause me to have an attack and of course this year had been full of my changes so the attacks started up again.

I know I will get through this its not going to be easy but ONE DAY I will be able to start a job and not have an attack until then I will take things easy.