Monday, August 27, 2012

The Dream

Last night I longed to go back to dream I had a week or so ago, I have no idea why but I wanted an escape and this dream seemed to be the easiest way to get one. I wrote this dream down when I had it as it was one of those things I never want to forget and it was the first time I had read it since I had the dream. I wrote about it here and it is safe to say this dream brings me peace and something else no idea what but I wake up happier, more focused and in a mood that can't ruined. The odd thing I have had this dream many times since though none to the same intensity but each time its leaves me feeling the same.

The thing I don't understand is how this dream is able to repeat itself so much most realistic dreams I have I will dream them maybe once or twice more but thats it. Maybe its because this dream was like I was there so its a memory rather than a dream? I have no idea but I know I will dream it many times and I guess maybe one day it will be a reality.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Where God wants me to be

Sometimes I wonder about where I will be in 10 years. If you asked me now I would tell you the following: I would like to be married to a great godly guy, working in administration at least part time, maybe working on a novel, surrounded by a few cats and maybe even a child or two, serving God in anyway I can, still be blogging and reading blogs and maybe even living in the country. But I have no idea where I will be for all I know I could be in Peru with my parents (highly unlikely but who knows?!) what I do know is that I will be where God wants me to be.

If you are friends with me on Facebook you will see that I have been posting how job interviews are going and I always say its in God's hands because truth be told God has the perfect job for me and who am I to want otherwise? Yesterday (Friday) I was told I might get a call from a company about a follow up interview (I had an interview with their recruitment agency) for a temp position with a chance it could be full time and truth be told I knew in my heart it wasn't meant to be so when the day passed with no call I was happy. I know I will get knockbacks but each one gets me closer to the perfect job. I know I have anxiety and that means I need a permanent position not a temp one and I need employers who understand my anxiety so that probably for the first week I will be jumpy and maybe emotional. I know the perfect job is out there for me and I know God has it set aside for me so why should I stress? Before each interview I pray that God will help me and will help the people interviewing me to see my potiental and it helps keeps me calm and focused.

All I know for certain is that where I am now and where I will be in future will be where God wants me to be and that is fine by me.

Friday, August 17, 2012

10 things that have made me smile this past week

I thought I would do a post on things that have made me smile this past week as honestly I am uninspired and I don't particulary want to go on a rant about a few things that have happened this past week.
  1. Finishing off my 18th Birthday invites. They look very me and were worth all my effort :)
  2. Spending time with my Mum one on one which is always nice.
  3. Seeing my parents celebrate 20 years of marriage.
  4. Dancing around the house with my sisters.
  5. Spending some time out in the garden weeding, of course Chickpea had to 'help' by digging in the places I pulled some weeds out of.
  6. Having a coffee with Dad.
  7. Having a few nights of decent sleep
  8. Realising that in less than a month I will be 18 (since when did time go so fast?!)
  9. My appetite slowly coming back, I managed to catch the flu and one of the symptons was not being hungry so actually wanting to eat is nice.
  10. Generally just feeling alot better and getting over the flu. When I had the flu I was miserable and tired and there  were times when even the smallest amount light would give me the biggest headache so finally feeling functional is great :)

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Feeling Lost

I am feeling lost today actually I have been feeling lost a lot lately and honestly I just want someone to find me! I think I am going down the right path and it leads to know where and the cycle repeats itself. I treasure the bits when I am happy. I keep myself distracted and try not to think of the chance of my phone ringing and getting asked to go to an interview. I focus on the good and ignore the bad. I keep myself busy I sat down and did my blog background, I craft a heap I have started my 18th invites even though its not for over a month! I help my Mum, I spent yesterday helping pack up my Grandmas room in Low Care (she has a spot in a High Care place and will moving in tomorrow) after this I will clean the bathroom and probably scrub the grout until its clean as its been annoying me for ages, I will cook dinner tonight and help my sister bake biscuits, I will try to keep moving as its the only thing that helps. I will watch TV tonight and read a book I borrowed from my sisters bookshelf and go to bed. I will keep being lost until someone finds me, I will keeping getting lost until God shows me a clear path, I will keep getting distracted until I am found as sometimes distractions are the only thing that keeps me going. Sometimes the tears will fall othertimes I will fake a smile and in the rare moments I will laugh. I will craft until I have no more ideas left, I will cook and hold the house togeather until no one is sick and Mum isn't stressed anymore, I will focus on the big picture. I won't let everything get to me.