Wednesday, June 26, 2013

My Testimony

The other day it hit me that I have never shared my testimony on here and I should because a big part of this blog is how I am growing as a Christian so here it goes.

I was born into a loving Christian home, both my parents were Christians and my Mum came from a Christian family (her father's father actually planted a church in the northern suberbs which has just celebrated its 100th (I think its a big milestone) anniversary). When I was 1 they moved down to south to what was considered the country at the time (now not so much) where my Dad got a job as a Pastor at the local Baptist church, there I grew up in a loving Christian community and it felt like an extended family. When I was 7 my father got voted out of the church this was hard as even though I was 7 I struggled with betrayal from people who were like my family but weren't, it was a messy time.

At times we struggled to pay the bills and Dad worked odd jobs for a few years down there, while also looking for another pastoring position. The thing was whenever a major bill came up or we were struggling to pay the mortgage God would ALWAYS provide, we had money appearing in unmarked envelopes in our letterbox or some other way we always had enough. We struggled but with God's grace we made it.

When I was 9 Dad got offered a job up in the city pastoring a church and we accepted, by this point my Grandfather had been diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer and my Mum being the only daughter out of 4 kids felt the need to be closer to her parents. It was a cleary a God Thing, so we moved, it wasn't easy up root our whole family but we managed to do it. During this time my parents worried how I would cope with this change, as change and me have never been good, but I started my new school with no problems and was settled within weeks.

Now during my childhood I'm sure I gave my life over to God but I can't remember it, I guess being brought up in a Christian home it was natural for me to trust him and I was taught from a very young age that God would provide. I know my parents can tell stories of me doing saying and doing things that showed that I had clearly accepted God into my life.

When I was 12 my life began to crumble my anxiety was ruling my life and I turned away from God, I was struggling with bullying, school was hard and I couldn't understand how God could let this happen to me, what had I done to deserve this? Those were dark days and I found it hard to trust God, I still went to church and acted like I trusted him but in my heart I wasn't. At the start of Year 8 I was seriously close to breaking point, my transition into high school was far from perfect (I hadn't been properly diagnosed with anxiety yet) and at one point it hit me that I couldn't do this without God so I regave my life to him. I knew it wouldn't be a quick fix to my problems but I finally accepted that without God my life was pointless and not worth living. Things slowly began to get easier and I have never hit rock bottom again, sure I have gotten close to it but I haven't.

When I was 14 I made the decision to be Baptised to publicly show my commitment to God. It was scary but it was also a turning point in my relationship with him. I have my baptisim certificate framed above my pin up board as a reminder that Jesus died for me.

Being a Christian isn't easy and I still feel at times I am getting judged because of it but I have made this choice to follow God and I don't regret one minute of .

My testimony isn't exiting and I don't expect it to be, as the exiting part is how God will use me to spread his work which is happening right now.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Living Happily Never After

I love fairy tales like every little girl I dreamed of the day my prince would sweep me off my feet and we would live happily ever after. Life isn't like that sure I still hope to be swept off my feet by a prince but not to live happily ever after. Life has never been straightforward for me and I have always been jealous of people who have life easy, for me every thing has its own complications and I guess thats something that makes me me. I have let go that one day all my problems will be solved and I'll live happily ever after instead I have learnt to accept that I'll live to tell the tale and when I look back I will be proud of myself.
I live one day at time as for me the case always goes that just when I think my life is making sense something happens that shatters it and I start from the ground up. This has been the case for as long as I can remember and I doubt it will change, sure to some people my life looks good, great even but you don't have to scratch much under the surface to see that I have almost reached breaking point one to many times and survived.
Today I felt my life shatter again and instead of freaking out I tried to act calm and thought to myself 'well God knows what he's doing' when someone commented that I was taking the news quite well I simply said 'It's in God's hands and I'll live'. Yes I was (and still am) freaking out but I'll survive it and it's all apart of God's plan for me.
I doubt my life will ever be easy and I will live happily every after but hey for now living happily never after with God knowing what he's doing sounds good.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Another bump in the road

This ALWAYS happens to me, just when I think I am finding my way and things are looking up, God throws something at me that changes everything.
Life hasn't been easy for me and for me to be where I am hasn't been easy, I have to work really hard at things and it has always taken me longer to acheive things which is why it is taking me what seems like forever to get my license. I was the girl who often took the easy route with things in high school as even those things were hard for me at times. So I am used to these challanges and this one is just another thing to work through. The job I applied for in Local Government closed on Friday so now the shortlisting process begins I am honestly praying that I get an interview but if I don't its all a part of God's plan for me.
I see my doctor on Wednesday and I am looking forward to telling him how far I have come and I know he will be impressed (considering there was a time he honestly didn't think that I would get past year 10 in high school). I spent an hour the other night emailing my pyschologist telling her all my happenings and got a reply back today telling me she is so proud of me (it was brief but she's a new mum so I didn't expect a reply so to get a short one is good),which made me smile. I loved seeing her and my only regret is that I didn't see her sooner, we connected straight away and that helped heaps.
One thing I am thankful for is that I have a great support network, my parents have always been super supportive, I have been with my doctor since I was 12 so he knows all my history and has seen me when I am at my worst and my best (which is why we travel 30 plus minutes to see him), I have a few friends whom I am really close to and know when I need a text or to go out for coffee or just a distraction and I have an amazing church family. I don't know where I would be without them all.
So no matter how big this challenge turns out to be I know I can survive it and after all when you have God why should you need to worry about tomorrow?

Monday, June 10, 2013

An update on my crazy/busy/tiring/kitty filled life!

Sorry for being absent lately but between work, dealing with Alfie and whatever else that God throws at me, blogging seems to be the last thing on my mind. I have sat down at the computer so many times to blog but I never get round to doing it.

Work is busy yet I still feel like I am drowning at times, I am feeling a bit trapped too so I have been looking at other options. My aim has always been to work in local government and I took a huge leap of faith and applied for a job where I did work experience in year 12, its a job I know I can do but whether I get an interview for it or now is in God's hands. I have always said my future is in God's hands and I am just thankful I have some form of employment at the moment. I have come along way since last year and I am proud of myself as are my parents. I have had no anxiety attacks and have gone to work every single day (apart from two but that was because I had a cold/virus) so I know that I can face whatever God throws at me.

Life with Alfie is fun :) I love waking up to a hug from him. He loves people and is clearly a lap cat, he has fitted into our family perfectly, everyone loves him and I have been commended on my good cat choosing skills though I think he choose us! He's the type of cat that loves people and being held and will sit on your lap wherever you are and won't budge. He also has a very playful streak in him and is finding lots of new places to hide and sit/sleep. I have been on the computer this afternoon doing a few thinks (checking bank transfers, trying track a few purchases ect) and next thing I know this is how I find Alfie! I told him he is not a piece of paper and doesn't belong there but he doesn't listen! But I am very thankful to have him and I can't wait to see him grow :)

Hopefully I will be back to blogging more regulary soon, I do miss it but its hard when you can distracted easily at times (online shopping and me = me spending money on things I really don't need haha).

A few of my favourite make up products

I tend to be seeing alot of posts on peoples favourite budget makeup brands, heres the thing everything I use is budget as 1) I don't wear alot of makeup to justify spending alot on it 2) Everything I use works well for me so I don't see the point in trying more expensive brands if I am happy with the results I get from the cheaper brands 3) I will admit that walking into a place like Myer or David Jones where people try to get me to buy a $30 lipstick scary so I avoid those places at all costs.

Lets start with the the facial care side of things. I will admit I am loyal to a few brands but only because I find they actually help my skin and I have tried alot of products.

Triple Action Tonor by Biore
I have used so many tonors in the past and this one is the best. It lasts a long time (this is with 3 of us using it), doesn't irritate my skin, you can feel it working and its the best value for money (for the amount you get) at $8.99. This lasts me 4-6 weeks on average and this is with my Mum and one of my sisters using it too. It helps control the oil and doesn't irritate the skin like some tonors do, we all love it even though our skin types do vary.

Daily Deep Pore Cleansing Wipes by Biore
I recently bought these as they had a 3 for 2 deal and I needed another product and I want to know why I didn't discover these earlier! Some days when I get home from work I just want to go to bed to read and the last thing on my mind is washing my face. These remove the dirt and oil (and makeup) and you can see it on the wipes (so you know its picking it up), I don't use these often just when I feel lazy. At $8.99 it might seem a bit expensive for 25 wipes but they are not intended to be used daily just when you don't have time to wash your face.

Ultra Deep Cleansing Pore Strips by Biore
I get blackheads on my nose and it majorly annoys me so every few weeks or so I use one of these. The results are pretty much instant and it gets rid of the blackheads for a few weeks (then I use another one) which are impossible too get rid of otherwise. You get 6 strips for $6.99 and its worth it (my sister likes to pinch mine) if you can't seem to get rid of those pesty blackheads.

Combination Skin Balancing Cleanser by Biore
I got a sample of this when I bough the wipes and it is amazing! I will definitly be buying more, it doesn't irritate my skin and leaves it feeling clean and fresh. I have only been using for a week and my breakouts have cleared. My skin is oily in parts and dry in others so its perfect for my skin. It's only just come out so I don't know the price but what I can say is that its worth it if you have combination skin.

Moving onto makeup, I don't wear alot but I do use a few things on a regular basis
Body Shop Watermelon Lipbalm
I am obsessed with this lipbalm, I always have it with me and its worth its weight in gold. I have tried so many brands and this is the only one that works for me. At $7.99 it may seem like a lot for a small pot but you don't need much, a pot lasts me a year and this is using it most days. I love the watermelon flavour but there are a few to choose from.

Savvy Lipstick
I recently discovered this and its great, it lasts a long time, it comes in a range of colours and doesn't feel sticky also at $4.99 you can buy it in a few colours. I currently have it in the blushing pink and its perfect for everyday wear.

Savvy Lipgloss
I love lipgloss but I don't like it to be sticky. This isn't but it gives a good shine, I have only used the clear and haven't tried any of the colours yet but I love it, its also long wearing plus at $4.99 its good value.

Savvy Concealer
Sometimes I just need to cover a few blemishes and this stuff does the job, it stays on and blends in well, at $3.99 its worth it.

Rimmel 9 in 1 BB cream
Sometimes I need a bit more cover and this stuff does it. Its long lasting and goes on matte so you can cover it with your favourite blush or bronzer. Its good to cover a few spots or to use a foundation. You don't need much so a tube will last a while its $12.99 so not too bad.

Body Shop Shimmer Waves
This is the most expensive product I use but everyone in my family uses it (except my Dad of course!) yes it is $40 buts its a blush, bronzer and eye shadow it will last a long time and its mineral based so it doesn't clog pores. I can honestly say you won't regret buying this, the price may put you off at first but you will be hooked plus its the only powder you will need.

Lip and Cheek tint by Natio
Some days I just need a little colour in my cheeks so I use this. As its a tint it stays on for ages and you can use it on your lips too (it stays on for a long time on your lips). You don't need much and its small enough to keep in your purse, this product is worth spending the $10.49 on (though I got mine on clearance at my local pharmacy for $2 I think).

So now you know what products I love, I have nothing against spending heaps on makeup its just I can think of better things to spend my makeup on (like a kitten or books or chocolate haha)

***None of these brands know I exist I just love their amazing products and thought I would share***