Wednesday, June 26, 2013

My Testimony

The other day it hit me that I have never shared my testimony on here and I should because a big part of this blog is how I am growing as a Christian so here it goes.

I was born into a loving Christian home, both my parents were Christians and my Mum came from a Christian family (her father's father actually planted a church in the northern suberbs which has just celebrated its 100th (I think its a big milestone) anniversary). When I was 1 they moved down to south to what was considered the country at the time (now not so much) where my Dad got a job as a Pastor at the local Baptist church, there I grew up in a loving Christian community and it felt like an extended family. When I was 7 my father got voted out of the church this was hard as even though I was 7 I struggled with betrayal from people who were like my family but weren't, it was a messy time.

At times we struggled to pay the bills and Dad worked odd jobs for a few years down there, while also looking for another pastoring position. The thing was whenever a major bill came up or we were struggling to pay the mortgage God would ALWAYS provide, we had money appearing in unmarked envelopes in our letterbox or some other way we always had enough. We struggled but with God's grace we made it.

When I was 9 Dad got offered a job up in the city pastoring a church and we accepted, by this point my Grandfather had been diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer and my Mum being the only daughter out of 4 kids felt the need to be closer to her parents. It was a cleary a God Thing, so we moved, it wasn't easy up root our whole family but we managed to do it. During this time my parents worried how I would cope with this change, as change and me have never been good, but I started my new school with no problems and was settled within weeks.

Now during my childhood I'm sure I gave my life over to God but I can't remember it, I guess being brought up in a Christian home it was natural for me to trust him and I was taught from a very young age that God would provide. I know my parents can tell stories of me doing saying and doing things that showed that I had clearly accepted God into my life.

When I was 12 my life began to crumble my anxiety was ruling my life and I turned away from God, I was struggling with bullying, school was hard and I couldn't understand how God could let this happen to me, what had I done to deserve this? Those were dark days and I found it hard to trust God, I still went to church and acted like I trusted him but in my heart I wasn't. At the start of Year 8 I was seriously close to breaking point, my transition into high school was far from perfect (I hadn't been properly diagnosed with anxiety yet) and at one point it hit me that I couldn't do this without God so I regave my life to him. I knew it wouldn't be a quick fix to my problems but I finally accepted that without God my life was pointless and not worth living. Things slowly began to get easier and I have never hit rock bottom again, sure I have gotten close to it but I haven't.

When I was 14 I made the decision to be Baptised to publicly show my commitment to God. It was scary but it was also a turning point in my relationship with him. I have my baptisim certificate framed above my pin up board as a reminder that Jesus died for me.

Being a Christian isn't easy and I still feel at times I am getting judged because of it but I have made this choice to follow God and I don't regret one minute of .

My testimony isn't exiting and I don't expect it to be, as the exiting part is how God will use me to spread his work which is happening right now.

No comments: