Friday, August 30, 2013

Temp work: week 1

A week of temp work done!!! Its been busy, consistent and fun to do something, I pretty much take staples out of building licenses and get paid to do it :) After a week of working 35 hours with no anxiety troubles I believe I am ready to head into full time work. I am sure that working in a place I am familar with has something to do with it but its changed so much since I was there 2 years ago and I am working in a different area with people I don't know. I am tired, but thats to be expected and my anxiety has stayed away, sure I was nervous on the first day but thats normal regardless of if you have anxiety or not :)

I am still unsure what my next step is and that drives me crazy, I have just over 2 weeks until my 19th Birthday and I have no idea whether I stick with looking for admin work or look into other areas. I have one more week of this placement *but* it could be extended for an additional week or two it just depends on a lot of things. I have also (once again) applied for a job at the university I did work experience at and am praying that I get an interview there, this is my 3rd time applying for a job there and I am praying that this application is enough to land me an interview.

I am slowly thinking about summer and today during my lunch break I got this cute dress from Jeans West (I had been eyeing it off for a day or two) which is perfect for spring and summer. It was $70 but as I am apart of the reward club I got 10% off so it was only $63 and I know its expensive but its such good quality plus I think it can pass for office wear :) I can't wait to wear it as soon as the weather starts to warm up. Yes I am a shopaholic (tomorrow I am dragging my little sister shoe shopping with me) but I have been really good with my spending lately and I deserve to reward myself now and then.

Now if you excuse me I am off to bed I have a driving lesson 7.00am tomorrow and I am starting to ramble but I just thought I would give you guys an update on how I am :)

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Focusing on the now

Tomorrow it will be exactly 3 weeks until my 19th Birthday. For the first time in ages I don't care how its celebrated, I have nothing I really want and I have told my parents to suprise me. I have a kitten (for many years I have always jokingly asked for one for my Birthday each year and each time the answer has always been no), my phone works fine and I don't care that its not the latest model, I have clothes and a roof over my head and thats enough for me. My 18th year has been the complete opposite of what I thought it would be and I would rather forget most of it, I had such high expectations of what it should be and it hasn't met any of them.
Tonight I mentioned to my Mum that lately it seems that I am taking risks, I know a few months and even weeks ago I wouldn't have taken temp work as it would've been too risky for my anxiety yet on Monday I start temp work and I am looking forward to it. I am also confident that I should be able to cope with full time work now (whether I end up getting full time work is in God's hands). In just over a months time I am volunteering at a Christian sport event because something in me thought why not?! For those who have known me long enough this is something I never would have in the past as anything out of routine freaks me out. 
Yes my 18th year has been hard yet the outcomes have been good and in 3 weeks time when I say goodbye to it as much as I will be relieved that its over I will be proud of myself for what I have acheived in it. But for now its time to focus on the present and try not to think about the future as why should I need to worry about things that may or may not happen.

Monday, August 19, 2013

My life isn't mine

Sorry for being absent from this blog but I have been down south doing some (more) work experience for my old principal at a high school last week and before that I just needed to take some time out. I enjoyed getting more experience and I was able to work a full week no problems this was tested even more stay with staying at a family friends whom I didn't know very well to begin with. It was fun but there is no place like home and I missed Alfie :)

On Saturday I returned home and had to go to the shops to get some stuff for dinner, I was picking up some cheese and I ran into a parent of 2 of the students who did music lessons at the music school where I used to work. It turns out she is now working there (taking over my old job) and enjoying it after finding out her boys were ect she asked how I was and what I was doing I had no idea what to say, should I tell her that I didn't get the job I wanted so badly and am now unemployed? Should I tell her that life is going well when it isn't? In the end I told her a mix of the two that I was unemployed but I had just done a week down south getting some more experience. She then asked how I was going personally and I simply told her that I had come to the conclusion that my life isn't mine and I have no idea what each day will bring. I am sure I left her confused (I don't think she knew that I was a Christian) but that was the truth, my life isn't mine and I literally take each day at a time.

Today was good example of that, I was trying to do an application for a job (it didn't get done, I got sidetracked more on that later) and the phone rang, I ignored it and tried to concentrate on the application but when my mobile rang I answered it not sure who it could be. It was a family friend who had helped me get the interview for the job in local government (which I just missed out on, but have since realised it was for the best) saying that temp work had come up in the records department it would be for a minimum of two weeks (full time) and it was mine if I wanted it, without hesitation I said yes. Tomorrow I head down there to sort out the paperwork and next Monday I start, its crazy but if it wasn't for the last week doing work experience full time I don't think I would be as willing to do this temp work. Once again I am proving people wrong and are realising that God has my life under control, even if I don't

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Waiting sucks

I haven't heard back from the application I submitted almost 2 weeks ago, I am beginning to think that its another door that has shut in my face. I mean when I did get confirmation that they received my application they said the short listing would take 2 weeks and if I didn't hear from them I wouldn't have been successful. Pretty much if I don't hear back by tomorrow I won't have proceeded to the next round. I want a chance to get an interview but I have no idea if I will get that chance.
I have been battling a cold (its been doing the rounds of the family) and yesterday was my first day of being out since I had got it and today I crashed. I cancelled my driving lesson and ventured out to get food and a magazine then returned home to watch TV and relax. Tomorrow I will try and get out of the house for at least the morning just because I know I can't stand another day of waiting for the phone to ring. I have no idea what I will do but I want to get lost in a sense discover places that I haven't been to and visit places that I haven't had a chance to.
For now I am going to get lost in a book and pray that God know's what he's doing.