Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Christmas Rush

It's a week until Christmas, its getting harder to find a parking spot at shopping centres, people are spending up big and the credit cards are getting the brunt of it, Santa is everywhere and people are wondering what to buy for that one person who is always hard to buy for. Yet I wonder how many people know the real meaning of Christmas that a few thousand years ago a baby was born a baby that would change the world a baby that would be the worlds biggest hero yet the worlds most unlikely hero. That the baby would grow up to be hated by kings and priests and eventually killed for our sins when he was the most innocent person to walk the earth.Sure most shops have a navity scene but its always to side of Santa placed there like an after thought as if to let people know that if it weren't for him we wouldn't have Christmas yet I doubt many people notice it as they rush past it. Navtivity scenes are displayed for shoppers to buy yet, I wonder how many get sold. Christmas carols play between songs about Santa and reindeer its the background music that goes with the maddness as people race around buying gifts for people, few people listening to the music praising the birth of Jesus. It makes me wonder if you asked the average person on the street what Christmas was about how many would say the birth of  Jesus and that he would eventually die for our sins. Maybe everyone is just in too big a Christmas rush to care? I urge you to take time out during this rush period and read the story the first Christmas.

The clip below is a great song about the Christmas rush period and inspired me to write this post.


Saturday, December 8, 2012

Christmas Gift Guide 2012

I did a gift guide last year and thought I would do it another guide. This year I have decided that I would list things that I am giving people and/or I have received as gifts.

Frappa Cup-I received one as a Birthday gift and use it heaps. I find that it helps me keep drinking water as soon as I fill it up its empty in a matter of minutes. This one is from Typo and at $14.95 its an awesome gift for anyone.

Mini Clock- I got this for one of my sisters for Christmas (they already know as they hate suprises!) and its cute and useful :) great to put on a desk or any nook. It is also from Typo and at $6.95 is a good secret santa gift or stocking filler.

2013 Diary- I use my diary heaps and last year I got my Mum one of these. Its held up great and is a perfect size to fit into a handbag or laptop case. It is once again from Typo and at $9.95 its well worth it and comes in a range of colours.

USB Light- I grabbed a stack of these for gifts and tested one out and for the price (83 cents) its a steal. These are currently clearance at office works so get in quick if you want to grab one (or a few!).

Born Lippy Lip Balm- This is the only lip balm that works on my lips and at $7.95 its a good gift for any girl and a great stocking filler. This is from The Body Shop so you know that it is all natural and is good quality.

Banagrams- This is good gift for a family. I love playing this game and you can play with as many as you want. At $30.00 its a good gift for a family. I have seen it for cheaper at some Big Ws but Games World always has it in stock.


Kobo Touch- I got a Kobo Touch for my Birthday and love it. I use it heaps and it is well worth its weight in gold. It isn't locked into any one e-book provider (though the Kobo site has cheap books and there are also discount codes on the internet). It varies in price between $118-$130 so be sure to shop around for a great deal. (A tip is if you are buying a case/cover for it Kindle Touch cases/cover fit perfectly and I have found them to be a bit cheaper).

Gold by Britt Nicole- I love this CD so much, the music is great, the lyrics have meaning and a story behind them. I haven't stopped listening to it since I bought it. Its currently on sale for $15 at Koorong and worth every cent!

Living Lockets by Origami Owl- I love the idea behind these and think one would make a perfect gift for a mum/wife/girlfriend/fiancee/daughter/special someone ect. These vary in price depending on the charms you put in the locket, the chain, this size ect but are worth it and are a great keepsake. If I had the money I would buy one for each of my sisters, mum and of course myself. The locket can tell a story or simply have a few meaningful things placed in it.

Terra Nova on DVD- I loved it when it was on TV and the DVD was filled with great extras and behind the scenes of making it. JB HI-FI has it on sale for $32 which is a good deal. I would get this for anyone who loves special effects and Dinosaurs (saying that I'm not into any of it and I LOVED it!). I watched the whole season over a few days as it was that good.

Scrabble Tile Necklace- I was at the markets on the weekend and bought a cute Scrabble Tile Necklace for $7 and have worn it so much! One of these would make a great gift for a teacher, close friend, sister, anyone really. The one on the right is from Sugar Lane Shoppe on Etsy and is $6.95 (plus postage) and can be done in any letter, there are lots more in the shop. Lots of other Etsy stores do them as well but I love the butterflies with the letter and the range is amazing. There is also a deal on buy two get one free so they are perfect for gifts.

Stabilo Point 88 Mini Pen Assorted- I won a pack (well a roll) of these and love them. I use them mainly for crafting and artwork. The mini pack would be a great stocking filler at $13.50 from office works you can't go wrong.

Jumbeau Water Bottle - This water bottle is great to remind you to drink more water and looks cute too! I find in Summer its good to have something that you like to drink water out of (such as me with my Frappa cup) and this clearly passes the test! Perfect for the beach, pool, work, school ect its $9.95 from Typo and is worth it for sure!  

Petite Gold Key Pendant Necklace- I am loving the key necklace trend at the moment (I already have two necklaces that I wear daily) and I am getting another key necklace very similar to this one for Christmas.  Its perfect to wear day or night and at $9.95 from Lovisa its a great price for such a pretty piece of jewellery.

This completes my Christmas Gift Guide for 2012 :) I hope I have helped you with a few ideas on what to get various people.

 *None of the above stores and/or companies know I exist and these are just products that I love (or find shiny)*

Monday, December 3, 2012

Love

A while ago I was talking to some friends about how girls are most likely to marry (and date) guys who have the same values as their fathers. I know this to be true as my father has many of the same values as my late grandfather had and see it among many girls who marry.

This got me thinking God is my father too and if the same findings go for that the guy would need to have alot of values to live up to. Then I realised that the main value God has is love and it is something God calls of us to do love one another as God loves you. God has done everything in love, that is why he sent his son to die on the cross for us so we might have a chance to live because of love. I have heard some people that it is hard to love your husband/wife at times yet you do it because you have to not because you want to.

Sure at times it will be hard but if we truly want to have the same values God has and live the way God wants us to then we need to learn how to love unconditionally. Love is word that can often be used lightly in the english language people say things all the time: I love chocolate, I love this song, I love to dance when in reality we only like these things. The true meaning of love is what God did sending his son to die on the cross for us. Love is word that should not be used lightly.

I enjoy listening to Britt Nicole and her song Look Like Love is a great song and the lyrics suite this post perfectly.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Small world

Sorry for being absent lately but life has been crazy. We had two students staying with us as they were doing mission at my parents church before they go to a conference (on a bus) over east so that has been fun. One of the events they organised was a night on how to evangalise and ways to do it which was great as I have a few non Christian friends and I have been wondering how to reach them. The other night was a girls night where you could share your testimony if you wanted. My physcologist said that I am at the stage where I need to test my anxiety so both events were able to put me out of my comfort zone. I shared my testimony at the girls night which I was hesitant to do but somehow managed to do it. It helped that I knew a few people from my own church that were doing mission at my parents church.

I am constantly amazed at how small the world is one of the girls who stayed with us actually visited my church with few others a while ago (and I thought she was dating a guy as they were similar glasses and came in together!) which was a nice suprised and I loved getting to know her more. I met a guy who was also on mission who knew a guy at my church really well too, being Christian I guess you will always have links with everyone!

I came away from the past few days feeling really encouraged as a Christian and made me wish I was going to uni so I could get involved with the Christian Union and Bus Trip saying that I don't think I could survive uni so I am thankful that I get meet to all these wonderful people through various events and people.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Flourless Chocolate Cake with Almond Brittle

I am known as the dessert queen at church and home, I am always whipping up desserts, cakes and other sweet treats sure I can do savoury but I am known for my desserts and treats. I posted a picture today of a cake I made for dessert tonight as we had friends over for tea on Facebook, within minutes lots of people had 'liked' it. So I thought I would post the recipe (along with the picture!).

Flourless Chocolate Cake with almond brittle (adapted from taste.com)

Cake:
  • 2 teaspoons instant coffee powder
  • 1/4 cup boiling water
  • 200g butter, chopped
  • 180g dark chocolate, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons cocoa powder, sifted
  • 4 eggs, separated
  • 1 cup caster sugar
  • 2 cups almond meal (ground almonds) one 200gram packet equals 2 cups
  1. Preheat oven to 180°C/160°C fan-forced. Grease a 6cm-deep, 22cm round (base) spring-form cake pan. Line base and side with baking paper.
  2. Place coffee powder and boiling water in a heatproof jug. Stir to dissolve. Place butter, chocolate, cocoa powder and coffee mixture in a medium saucepan over low heat. Cook, stirring constantly, for 2 to 3 minutes or until melted and combined. Remove from heat. Transfer to a bowl to cool slightly.
  3. Using an electric mixer, beat egg yolks and sugar for 5 minutes or until thick. Set aside. Using an electric mixer, beat egg whites until soft peaks form (I find its best to beat the egg yolks and sugar in a large bowl and the egg whites in a smaller bowl)
  4. Add chocolate mixture and almond meal to egg yolk mixture. Stir to combine. Using a large metal spoon, gently fold half the egg whites into chocolate mixture. Repeat with remaining egg whites. Pour into prepared pan. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes (it has taken up to an hour to cook at times so don't stress if it takes longer) or until a skewer inserted in centre comes out with moist crumbs clinging. Cool cake completely in pan.

    Almond Brittle 
    In a small saucepan combine 1/2 cup sugar with two tablespoons hot water. Place on medium heat stirring until all the sugar is (mostly) dissolved) bring to boil and eye ball it THIS CAN BURN EASILY the moment it turns yellow watch it you want it to turn golden then take off heat (it may go darker). Mix in 1/4-1/2cup raw or roasted almonds and quickly pour onto a tray lined with grease proof paper and spread it the best you can. Let it sit at room temperature for 30-40 minutes. Using a knife break into (smallish) pieces (try not to eat too many!).

  5.  
    This cake can keep for a few days in an airtight container at room temperature.
UPDATES
This cake freezes really well and you would never know that it had been frozen unless told otherwise. I have frozen it both in the pan (just make sure you do a couple of layers of glad wrap and/or foil) and in a container. You can freeze either the whole cake or slices of it if there's any leftover. The Almond Brittle won't freeze so be sure to make it on the day you plan to serve it. To defrost leave it on the bench for at least 12 hours so it will fully thaw (If I am able to I get it out the night before).
You make your own almond meal by grinding 225grms of almonds in either a blender, coffee grinder or food processor until ground then sifting it and weighing it until you get 200grms you may need to regrind the larger chunks until you get the right amount.
We normally serve this cake with whipped cream or ice cream and sometimes a berry compote if we choose not to do the brittle (frozen berries and sugar over low heat until they are broken down into smallish chunks and a syrup has formed) which all helps cut down on the richness.

Monday, November 12, 2012

What will my mind do next?

Last night I prayed I prayed that God would give me the chance to go to job interviews this week as I have been feeling useless and worthless on the whole job search front. Today my prayers were answered sure I had to knock down a job interview but I have one tomorrow and for the first time I feel like I am getting somewhere. Its for a 15-20 hour admin job and there are 2 shifts I can work (if I get the job) 7.30am-1.00pm or 1.00pm-6.30pm each 5 and a half hours long but manageble sure I will have to leave the house at 6.30am to get to the shift that starts at 7.00am but it won't be a problem if God gives me the job.

My mind has been running off when I sleep. Just the other night I dreamed a friend posted on twitter that he was engaged to someone whom he had been secretly dating called 'Pixel Pinky' (seriously?!) and I awoke wondering how that idea got stuck in my mind (still don't know).

I feel that as a few of my friends have been begging me to post a few recipes I would post my favourite general cake recipe and a recipe for choc mint cookies which I made up:


Never fail birthday (or any other occasion) cake
You will need
125g butter or margarine
¾ cups white sugar (you can use castor if you have it but it doesn’t make a difference)
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
2 cups self raising flour sifted
½ cup of milk
1      Turn oven to 180 degrees.
2.      Beat butter and sugar together until creamy
3.      Add eggs and vanilla essence
4.      Add milk and flour stir to combine.
5.      Pour mixture into a cake tin or cupcake cases.
6.      Bake for 30-40 minutes (20-30 minutes for cupcakes) or until a skewer inserted into the cake comes out clean (don’t judge by the colouring often it looks cooked but the middle of the cake is not set!)
7.      Cool then ice
       Adjustments:
  • add a few tablespoons of sprinkles to make a funfetti cake (or a cake with awesome colours inside it!)
  • sub out a few tablespoons of flour and replace with cocoa powder for a chocolate cake
  • swap the vanilla essence for strawberry, peppermint, almond essence ect
You can use either of the following recipes to ice the cake.
Recipe 1: Mix 1 cup of icing sugar with enough hot water to form a past (you don’t want it too runny!) add food colouring if desired then ice cake.
Recipe 2: mix/cream 125grm  softened butter (if its not softened it will be impossible to cream!) until pale and creamy add 2 cups of sifted icing sugar  and 2 table spoons milk until combined add food colouring if desired. Ice onto cooled cake (if the cakes not cooled the icing will melt!).

Easy ways to decorate the cake:
  • sprinkles
  • choc chips (mini and normal size!)
  • dye the icing different colours with food colouring

Mint Choc Chip Cookies

You will need:
200grms of butter or margarine softened
1 1/4 cup white sugar
2-3 teaspoons of peppermint essence (adjust according to your own taste)
1 teaspoon green food colouring
1 egg
3 cups self raising flour
¾ cup dark choc chips or chopped up dark chocolate
Coating:
2 tablespoons white sugar (you can add more sugar if you wish)
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
  1.            Preheat oven to 180 degrees
  2.            Cream butter (or margarine) and sugars until pale and creamy (or beat with a wooden spoon works  just as well!)
  3.            Mix in peppermint essence, food colouring and egg
  4.            Stir in flour and choc chips (add more flour if its to sticky)  
  5.        Mix the cocoa powder and sugar togeather in a bowl 
  6.        Roll teaspoons off mix into ball then roll in sugar/cocoa mix
  7.        Place the coated balls onto a tray lined with baking paper evenly spaced apart 
  8.        Cook for 10-15 minutes then cool on a rack for 5-10 minutes
  9.        Enjoy with a glass of milk :)      

 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Submitting

I have NEVER done this but I though I would do a post linked to one of my friends blogs about submission to authority. Before you read this post to understand it better you need to read the original post here.

The first lesson any kid learns is to obey their parents and later obey adults, one of the ten commandments even says it. Kids grow up learning to respect their parents and adults and sure they test boundaries which is all part of the learning experience of growing up.  No matter how old you are you still have to submit to people whether your 18 or 180. At work you have to submit to your boss and supervisors, even if you own your own business you have to submit to the people you hire and customers. You also have to submit to laws which are put there to protect you. Learning to submit is a key part of growing up.

Sometimes submitting isn't easy yet we all continue to do it. Many Christians have been killed because they have submitted to people who are Anti Christian both now and in the bible times. So why do we continue to submit? Simply because God tells us too, sure its never going to be easy to submit but we should. Most people feel need to always question authority (I admit to doing it at times) but should we? The answer is no, everyone needs to submit freely just as the bible tells us too. Sure at times its not going to be easy but we have to realise that Christians are just passing through this world and God is ALWAYS in control.

When I get married I will have to submit to my husband because the bible cleary tells me to, in Genesis 3:16 the bible says to Eve (referred to as the woman) that her desire will be for her husband and the he will rule over her. In this day and age it isn't easy as the media tells women that they should equal with their husbands (and partners) which isn't true and in life someone will always have the final say in decisions and in marriage the husband does. My parents have been married for just over 20 years and I have seen my Mum submit to my Dad when its been hard but she has and though she has not always agreed on my Dad's final decision it has made their marriage stronger.

Submitting is never going to be easy but we just need to trust that God knows what he is doing and realise that there is always a bigger picture.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Getting rid of the words that scar me

***Before I begin this post please note I am only doing this for me, if it offends you in anyway please move on***

I have written about me being bullied before and how it made my life misrable, well sure now I'm not in school I don't have to worry about it yet I still do as the scars are there sure not visable but mental. Because of bullying I doubt myself and have little self confidence. Because of bullying I avoid social situations where people who bullied me may show up at. Because of bullying I feel I am being consistiently judge. Because of bullying it takes me a while to fully trust people. Because of bullying it takes time for me to be myself around people. All this has occured because of bullying and it sucks and it has wrecked me but I am slowly picking myself up and leaving the bullying in the past in a big dusty box locked with a million locks which is never to be opened again. One day I will show the people who bullied that it hasn't broken and that I am successful and happy with how I am. Sure it will take time but I am ready to get rid of the scars and not cover them and use them for an excuse. Being bullied may have made my school years hell but they won't make now or the future hell.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Just for the sake of it

I thought I would so something just for the sake of it so when I saw this on one of the blogs I read I decided to do it.

Obsessing over: Pintrest, my new shelves (finally got some, so I was able to replace my desk) which my sis and I just finished putting together and filling, the film Pitch Perfect 
Working on: Long Term: Getting my anxiety/panic attacks sorted and finding part time work. Short Term: heading to bed to read
Thinking about: How the friends who you see online on Facebook are selected (you know how it lists people online with people offline too, I always thought it was the people you chat and communicate to the most but I'm not so sure now). Yes its weird but thats just how my mind is at the moment.
Anticipating: The DVD release of Terra Nova (18 days to go!), the release of Pitch Perfect, getting my anxiety/panic attacks sorting, church camp
Listening to: a playlist on iTunes called 'Times' which has a mix of Glee, the Lemonade Mouth soundtrack and Britt Nicole, it has encouraging music on it.
Drinking:Diet Coke (caffiene free) and water
Wishing Praying: That I will find the perfect job at the perfect time

Thursday, October 4, 2012

One Day

Today I began my first step towards gaining control of my anxiety I went to a psycologist. I had no idea what to expect the last time I went to one was when I was 12 and that wasn't the most enjoyable experience and then once I got to high school I saw the school conselour and that was that.

I found myself at ease with her (my pyscologist) and she explained to me that the attacks I have been having are Panic Attacks and the most extreme of attacks people who have anxiety get, the good news is that with treatment I should be able to get on with my life without having to worry about having the attacks affecting me. She also said that though even if I did get another job I would most likely still have an attack no matter how many hours it was and until I got treatment they would still happen so I am thankful that I am getting treatment and that soon I will be able to live without the attacks. I'm not expecting it to be easy but I KNOW I can stop the attacks with her help.

I asked why after so many years of not having the attacks I have had a lot and she said it was because I learnt (subconsiously) to avoid situations that may cause me to have an attack and of course this year had been full of my changes so the attacks started up again.

I know I will get through this its not going to be easy but ONE DAY I will be able to start a job and not have an attack until then I will take things easy.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

(Very) Small Steps

Things are hard and I have shread alot of tears and I know there are still more to come. I want to stay in bed all day but still I get up and get dressed even if I just spend the day reading on the couch as I know it can only get better. Truthfully though every time I think life can't get worse it does, I stacked it in the shops on Saturday and managed to bruise both my knee bones so both my knees are black and blue and yes I know I bruised the bone I bruised my left knee bone when I was 11 and I thought it was just the skin that was bruised but after 2 weeks it was still sore and the doctor took one look at it and said I had bruised the bone and they both feel the same and I heard them crack on the tiles as I slipped (stupid patch of water and gripless boots!). They hurt early in the mornings and at night but as long as I don't run or do anything majorly physically I am fine. I have been listening to music and doing small things towards my goal of eventually returning to the work force (though part time) I have an appointment with a psychologist next Thursday who seems really nice so I am praying that goes well. I need to take steps and no matter how small the steps I am still working towards employment and thats all that matters.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

No Strength

I lost my first actual job this week I had it for a grand total of 2 days due to my anxiety. I am mad and annoyed at my anxiety it shouldn't have happened but it did and once again I have to pick up the pieces only this time I don't have the strength. The strength to apply for 50 more jobs and go through 10 more interviews and dealing with all the knockbacks. The strength to smile and say 'I'm fine' when I'm not. The strength to get up in the morning rather than stay in bed. The strength to not cry. The strength to slowly rebuild once again due to my anxiety. I haven't been myself since last Sunday I want to smile but my mood is the type that would give kids nightmares so many people are worried about me and I am worried about myself too. I have no idea what to do but maybe God does

Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Perfect Job

Many people have been impressed with how I have been so trusting in God during my job hunting process and truth be told it was hard but it kept me going knowing that every knockdown led me one step closer to getting the perfect job.

 Monday morning I had an interview with a foundation and truth be told I had no idea what to expect but everything went perfectly I found the place with 20 minutes to spare (I have been prone to getting lost) and decided to just go in which turned out to be good as I went into the interview 10 minutes early. As soon as I walked into the company the atmosphere felt like the company was a big family (I have walked into some companies where it felt tense). The interview went great, basically I was told what the job would involve, the hours (30 hours a week) and was asked some questions regarding my skills. I was told that they had over 80 applicants and I was one of 3 (or 4) that was being interviewed as the bulk of the applicants had alot of experience which they didn't want (they wanted someone they could train up and but had general knowledge and a bit of experience) as not for profit companies work differently to commercial. The job felt perfect and I walked out feeling on top of the world.

Then I had to wait until yesterday if I got the job which I so badly wanted it was a long wait to say the least. I had another interview with another company which went ok and then was meeting up with a friend for lunch so that all happened and my phone didn't ring once during that. So I went home and decided to bake biscuits to keep me busy and of course the phone rang just when my hands were dirty and there was flour on my phone! I was quite jumpy when I found out it was the company but was so happy when they told me I had the job. I danced round the house and texted my mum (who wanted to be the first to know if I got the job) and praised god because truth be told the job is perfect. I start on the 17th (two days after I turn 18) and I can't wait :) God is amazing and I know that he had this job picked out for me right from the start and all I had to do was wait and trust him throughout the job hunting process.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

18 years in Numbers

I'm turning 18 in a 1 and a half weeks so I thought I would do a series of posts title '18 years in...' I have decided to start with numbers.

8- the number of houses I have lived in.
1060-how old I was in days when my first sister was born
1484-how old I was in days when my second sister was born
2-the number of primary schools I went to
2-the number of high schools I went to
2-the number of times I have flown interstate
17- the number of years I have known my oldest friend
5-the number of churches I have belonged to
7-the number of cats I have ever owned (including current ones)
11.45pm-the time I was born
14-how many days I was overdue
3-number of places I have worked
15-my favourite number
11-number of cousins I have
10-age I was when my Grandfather died
3-number of computing awards I won in high school
170-amount of friends I have on facebook
6-the number of hours it takes to travel to my favourite place in the world
2-the number of piercings I have in each ear
3-number of phones I have had
47-how many albums I have on iTunes
10.30pm-the average time I go to sleep each night

This is just a bit of my life in numbers, I know it could go on but I wanted to keep it short.

Monday, August 27, 2012

The Dream

Last night I longed to go back to dream I had a week or so ago, I have no idea why but I wanted an escape and this dream seemed to be the easiest way to get one. I wrote this dream down when I had it as it was one of those things I never want to forget and it was the first time I had read it since I had the dream. I wrote about it here and it is safe to say this dream brings me peace and something else no idea what but I wake up happier, more focused and in a mood that can't ruined. The odd thing I have had this dream many times since though none to the same intensity but each time its leaves me feeling the same.

The thing I don't understand is how this dream is able to repeat itself so much most realistic dreams I have I will dream them maybe once or twice more but thats it. Maybe its because this dream was like I was there so its a memory rather than a dream? I have no idea but I know I will dream it many times and I guess maybe one day it will be a reality.


Saturday, August 25, 2012

Where God wants me to be

Sometimes I wonder about where I will be in 10 years. If you asked me now I would tell you the following: I would like to be married to a great godly guy, working in administration at least part time, maybe working on a novel, surrounded by a few cats and maybe even a child or two, serving God in anyway I can, still be blogging and reading blogs and maybe even living in the country. But I have no idea where I will be for all I know I could be in Peru with my parents (highly unlikely but who knows?!) what I do know is that I will be where God wants me to be.

If you are friends with me on Facebook you will see that I have been posting how job interviews are going and I always say its in God's hands because truth be told God has the perfect job for me and who am I to want otherwise? Yesterday (Friday) I was told I might get a call from a company about a follow up interview (I had an interview with their recruitment agency) for a temp position with a chance it could be full time and truth be told I knew in my heart it wasn't meant to be so when the day passed with no call I was happy. I know I will get knockbacks but each one gets me closer to the perfect job. I know I have anxiety and that means I need a permanent position not a temp one and I need employers who understand my anxiety so that probably for the first week I will be jumpy and maybe emotional. I know the perfect job is out there for me and I know God has it set aside for me so why should I stress? Before each interview I pray that God will help me and will help the people interviewing me to see my potiental and it helps keeps me calm and focused.

All I know for certain is that where I am now and where I will be in future will be where God wants me to be and that is fine by me.

Friday, August 17, 2012

10 things that have made me smile this past week

I thought I would do a post on things that have made me smile this past week as honestly I am uninspired and I don't particulary want to go on a rant about a few things that have happened this past week.
  1. Finishing off my 18th Birthday invites. They look very me and were worth all my effort :)
  2. Spending time with my Mum one on one which is always nice.
  3. Seeing my parents celebrate 20 years of marriage.
  4. Dancing around the house with my sisters.
  5. Spending some time out in the garden weeding, of course Chickpea had to 'help' by digging in the places I pulled some weeds out of.
  6. Having a coffee with Dad.
  7. Having a few nights of decent sleep
  8. Realising that in less than a month I will be 18 (since when did time go so fast?!)
  9. My appetite slowly coming back, I managed to catch the flu and one of the symptons was not being hungry so actually wanting to eat is nice.
  10. Generally just feeling alot better and getting over the flu. When I had the flu I was miserable and tired and there  were times when even the smallest amount light would give me the biggest headache so finally feeling functional is great :)

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Feeling Lost

I am feeling lost today actually I have been feeling lost a lot lately and honestly I just want someone to find me! I think I am going down the right path and it leads to know where and the cycle repeats itself. I treasure the bits when I am happy. I keep myself distracted and try not to think of the chance of my phone ringing and getting asked to go to an interview. I focus on the good and ignore the bad. I keep myself busy I sat down and did my blog background, I craft a heap I have started my 18th invites even though its not for over a month! I help my Mum, I spent yesterday helping pack up my Grandmas room in Low Care (she has a spot in a High Care place and will moving in tomorrow) after this I will clean the bathroom and probably scrub the grout until its clean as its been annoying me for ages, I will cook dinner tonight and help my sister bake biscuits, I will try to keep moving as its the only thing that helps. I will watch TV tonight and read a book I borrowed from my sisters bookshelf and go to bed. I will keep being lost until someone finds me, I will keeping getting lost until God shows me a clear path, I will keep getting distracted until I am found as sometimes distractions are the only thing that keeps me going. Sometimes the tears will fall othertimes I will fake a smile and in the rare moments I will laugh. I will craft until I have no more ideas left, I will cook and hold the house togeather until no one is sick and Mum isn't stressed anymore, I will focus on the big picture. I won't let everything get to me.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Wait

I have this weird thing with dreams, like I have very realistic dreams (like I can feel myself hugging/kissing/touching/holding hands ect) every now and then and my theory is (it may be stupid) that to have a realistic dream the main person it involves (all have been based around someone who I know) must have it too. I believe that God tells us things from dreams and the other night I had a very realistic dream and I woke with the word 'wait' on my mind and I knew that God was telling me to wait and eventually I will meet a guy at the perfect timing and to be honest the timing isn't right at the moment and won't be right until I find a job and settle in to it and my Grandma is settled into high care. So I will wait and honestly knowing God has it all under control makes me worry less even though at times all I do is worry!


Thursday, July 26, 2012

Stay calm and trust God

This week started off good in the Job front I had an interview on Monday with a recruitment company on behalf of a law firm which went very well so well that I got an interview with the company on Tuesday but I didn't get the job. I felt so down and yes I cried, as just when I thought I was getting somewhere I was back to square one. I then today had another interview with the same recruitment company but with a different consultant about a different job and honestly the jobs to far away for my liking but its interview experience. I felt really down today and the consultant picked up on that immeadiatly and told me that though I didn't get the job they had no complaints and only positive feedback from the firm about how my interview went and the main reason why I didn't get the job was because I don't have a drivers license (I am working on it though!) but I have potiental, I am well presented, I am a good communicator, my skills are up to date and the firm had interviewed heaps of people. Honestly I just have to focus on the fact that God has a great job ready for me and not to get discouraged. Once again I am reminded of the fact I have to trust god.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Waiting for God to Provide

My life at the moment is far from where I want it to be. Most days I just wish I could bang my head on the keyboard (or another hard surfice) and forget how hectic my life is. I still haven't found a job and each knockback just makes me more discouraged I just know when school goes back next week I will go stir crazy! My Grandma is still in the hospital and hates there but its the right place for her to be I aim to go with Mum when she visits as the visits are the highlights of her day (sad but true) and I know Mum likes having the support from me.

Its hard at the moment as I honestly have no idea what to do or what I should be doing. I do have a few things to do that I keep putting off but its mostly boring things which can be done anytime and face it when I am going stir crazy they are sure to look interesting!

But heres the thing maybe where I am is where God wants me to be? Maybe he is just putting the finishing touches on the perfect job for me? Maybe I am out of work to help Mum with Grandma? I honestly just need to trust God during this time and I KNOW with his help I will get through this hard time because I have seen God ALWAYS PROVIDES.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Book review: Revive by Cat Patrick

I haven't done a book review lately so I thought I would :) I ordered this book online as it was $12 cheaper if I waited a month for it to be released in paperback even though it was always out in every bookstore here for around $20-22.

I first came across Cat Patrick when I was doing work experience and during my lunch break I was window shopping (there was a big shopping centre 2 mins walk away) and picked up her book Forgotten I loved it, it was so different to what I had read before so when Revived I didn't hesitate to order it.

I read revived in a night and honestly loved every moment, it has twists, romance, suspense, death, and will make you smile and cry. It is my new favourite book and for the night I read it, it gave me a much needed distraction from what was going on around me.

Revived by Cat Patrick

Revived is based around a drug (call Revived) that can make you come back to life after you have died. Daisy is a teenager who has died 5 times each time coming back to life but after each time she dies she has to be relocated with her two carers Mason and Cassie (who act as her parents but are really agents who are trying to refine the drug) so no one knows that there is such a drug. After Daisy dies for the 5th time she relocates to a new town with a new last time and then for the first time she makes a friend, Audry and begins to develop relationships with those around her. Just when you think you know where the book is going, twists begin to happen and you have no idea what will happen next.

I would say this book is better than Forgotten and I honestly didn't think it could be possible. I love how it is a stand alone book and it answers all the questions you may have and gives you proper closure. You fall in love with all the charcters and you honestly don't want the book to end. This book like Forgotten will get reread many times.

If you want an unpredictable, not dystopian (though it may sound like it), feel good book read Revived you won't regret it!

*** I am not getting sponsered for this review and I am pretty sure Cat Patrick doesn't know I exist, this revive is my own as I love this book and want everyone to know about it ***

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Job Search

I managed to put off actually searching for a job for as long as possible I wanted a break and then when I felt I should be starting I had just found out that in order to continue receiving my payment from the government I needed to visit an employment agency so that postponed things. So yesterday morning (and night) I began looking, I applied to around 20-25 and have so far had two knock backs (one was because I don't have my license the other I have no idea why) and if I don't hear from the rest by next friday (they all said they would call if they were interested in me) I won't have made it to the interview stage. I honestly no point in worrying as I know God has the perfect job out there for me, I also have my next meeting with my employment agency on the 30th so if I still don't have a job they will help me find one. Honestly its all in Gods hands now and all I can do is pray.

I have also realised that this is my 200th post and I am aware that I haven't been posting that often but will try and do it more now that I am looking for work. Our house has been hectic as my Grandma is still hospital so I have ended up cooking dinner for the past 5 nights as Mum has been too caught up with Grandma and everything.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Hard to Focus

Life has been hectic to say the least things have been happening and its only been the past two days when I have been able to relax as life has been so hectic! I finished TAFE on Wednesday and its a relief to end it and to not have to go back, the past few weeks I have had no motivation at all but thankfully I passed all my units so all is good, now to find a job :)

My Grandma is currently in hospital as she fell out of bed for the 3rd time in three days and is in alot of pain due to her back (she can barely stand and walk due to the pain). She went in on Sunday morning and we have no idea when she will be out though she will move to a rehabilitation ward when they have a place for her (not that its going to help we just have no idea what to do), its hard but God is good and we can only hope he will guide us what to do next about her. So pray that we are able to work out what to do.

I keep getting glances of my reflection in doors and mirrors and I can't believe that its me! I have honestly never felt this good about myself in ages. It seems that I have lost weight due to walking everywhere (walking to bus stops ect) and am eating more healthy (maybe thats due to having to cut down on dairy as my intolerance has flared up big time?) but I feel and look great.

So I have recently discovered this blog written by a young Christian guy Grant and its amazing to say the least. It's a great read and gets you to think about various topics that I am sure pop up in your mind. He is also on twitter and his tweets always get me to think or point out something that I have never realised before. Check it out you won't regret it his posts are truely works of art (I would like to see him publish a book one day).

I turn 18 in just under 3 months and I honestly can't believe it that soon I will be an adult and not considered a child.

Anyway this post has been random but its like my mind at the moment I have so many things going on its hard to focus on one thing.