Saturday, September 22, 2012

No Strength

I lost my first actual job this week I had it for a grand total of 2 days due to my anxiety. I am mad and annoyed at my anxiety it shouldn't have happened but it did and once again I have to pick up the pieces only this time I don't have the strength. The strength to apply for 50 more jobs and go through 10 more interviews and dealing with all the knockbacks. The strength to smile and say 'I'm fine' when I'm not. The strength to get up in the morning rather than stay in bed. The strength to not cry. The strength to slowly rebuild once again due to my anxiety. I haven't been myself since last Sunday I want to smile but my mood is the type that would give kids nightmares so many people are worried about me and I am worried about myself too. I have no idea what to do but maybe God does

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