Saturday, April 28, 2012

Things that make me 'me' and a few other things

This past week has been fun but at the same time overwhelming. The 'what if' questions have decided to make themselves known to me, honestly I know they aren't true but I still don't want to have them bouncing around my head. The main question has been: What if I fail TAFE? I know I won't but the question has decided to take up space in my mind. I am honestly hoping this is just a phase and the 'what if' questions will soon vanish. I am trying to get into the swing of TAFE again after a nice break and its hard, it hasn't helped that I got a virus on Wednesday afternoon and spent Thursday and Friday dealing with dizziness and a fever, I braved TAFE on Thursday (it was an afternoon class) and only survived half of it before asking to go home. Apparently on the 2nd day of having the virus you get really emotional and just want to cry so that was me on Thursday, but I am now mostly fine just still feeling weak.

Anyway have you ever though about what makes you you? Like what weird habits or things that you like and when you put them altogether you get what makes you you (ok that probably made not much sense). Well here is a list of things that make me me:
  • When it rains I am suddenly inspired (it is currently raining now).
  • I hate it when it has been raining for a whole day and the clouds move and you can see the sun and blue sky, I wish the clouds would move away at night. Its strange I know.
  • I used to wake up really early as a kid (think 6.00am) and now I find it hard to get out of bed at 7.00am.
  • I can never do a big assignment all in one go, I have to space it out over a few days.
  • I want so badly to be able to walk in heels but I can't. I am hoping that with practice I will be able to (my sister will probably laugh when she reads this).
  • I need lipbalm and lipgloss. Honestly without them my lips are dry and unshiny which I hate.
  • I zone out if I am tired or the topic is boring which means I blurt out random things if you ask me a question.
  • I am a country girl at heart, though I live near the city and like being close to it, but the country air helps me breath. 
  • When I was younger I used to write lists of things I needed to do or stuff I didn't want to forget (like what the weather was going to be) and sometimes I still do.
  • I sleep with door open just a notch, if not I have a restless sleep.
  • I always turn the TV on if I am cooking, just so I can look up and take small brakes when I am baking. I always done this, I have no idea why I just do.
These are just a few of the things that make me 'me', truth be told there are ALOT MORE things that I could add to this list but I am beginning to dose off as I am writing this so its off to bed I go :)

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Pet peeves related to the internet

I have a few pet peeves (when ever I write that I always think of the cheeky ghost on Harry Potter why is that?!) when it comes to people using the internet. Most of the time I am easy going when it comes to comments and what people post on the internet if I disagree with what they are saying the chances are I will ignore them but there are a few things that I can't stand as in it drives me mad when people do these things consistently (once is fine, twice I can live with that but three or mores times I am seriously wanting to (virtually) slap you across the head), I get that the internet is a place to express yourself but sometimes if you have nothing good to post why post anything at all? So here are things that people do that drive me mad:
  • Complain about things, I recently read a blog that each and every post was complaining about things and the person kept dwelling on the bad things. I complain about things a bit on the internet but I don't dwell on the things for the whole post. Sure complain a bit on facebook but don't do it all the time and if its on a blog post complain for a little bit but not the whole post!
  • Worthless (and meaning less) status's, ok we do it at times but sometimes its better not posting a thing on facebook for days than posting anything at all. I have had friends post really worthless status's like '23% through my science assignment' (and they continue to post how much they have done until they have done all of it) and honestly I have wanted to throw the computer out the window and its often not just a one off either it is an everyday thing. Sure post something like 'getting through my science assignment wish it wasn't so boring' but not '23% though my science assignment'. If you are going to post a a worthless status consider rewording it to make it less boring or don't post it all.
  • Spelling peoples names without capital letters (ok I feel like a grammar nazi here), I hate it when I see my name spelt with a small 'e' rather than a capital 'E'. It drives me mad that people do that when it doesn't even take that much effort. 
Ok so these are my main peeves to do with internet if you do any of the above maybe think twice before you do.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Future Careers

When I was younger I wanted to be so many things: a hair dresser, a florist, a vet, a dancer, a childcare worker, famous (don't we all?!), a singer I wanted to be so many of these, but the one thing I have always wanted to be and will never change? A Mum, I want to experience looking at my child(ren) for the first time and feeling love come over me for this small person that belongs me, I want to bring up my child(ren) in the best way possible, I want to teach them how to cook, how to be creative and how to read. I want to experience seeing them go off to school and hosting their birthday parties. I know its a long way off yet but I can't wait for it to happen.

The thing is as you grow older your interests change and so does the job you want to do when your older. I want to do something completey different than what I wanted to do when I was younger and so much more. I want to publish a book, tell people that they can beat anxiety and depression even if at the time it seems impossible, I want to write my story out on paper (even if no one reads it) prove to people I am worth something and never be afraid to tell people all about God.  The thing is I have no idea what I will be doing in 10 years time, but I do know whatever I will be doing I will make sure I am doing it to the best of my ability and enjoying the small things along the way.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Box of Memories

I am so confused at the moment! Honestly how do you put these things into words? I want one thing yet my heart is telling me another! I just had it worked out when all of a sudden things happened! I guess what you want and need are completly different things and what you want and God wants are too. Life isn't meant to be easy and sometimes you just need a cry or go for a long run. Its annoying how you can just get your life sorted and then all of a sudden something happens, sometimes the thing happens gradually and other times it just hits you out of the blue. I found the following which I wrote last July on my iPod today and I thought I would share it:
Box of Memories
We all have a box of memories in our mind. 
A box that we don't want to be opened. 
A box that we know that will eventually be opened. 
A box we want and wish to make disappear
A box that will stay with us until we open it and only then will it disappear. 
But sometimes its easier to pretend that its not there.
For after all its just a box . . . full of memories.
(Picture from The Letter Four Blog)

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Dancing in the moonlight

I have this vision call it stupid but I have always had it since I was young.

This vision is of me and a guy dancing in a deserted parking lot at night there are lights around us and there is just enough light to see where we are dancing. There is no music playing and you can hear the russle of the wind, its cold but we don't notice it and keep dancing. I am guessing it is the middle of winter by the coolness and darkness of the sky, the sky is clear and the moon shines down on us. We continue dancing for awhile then slowly kiss and continue to dance.

Its a vision that I know may not ever happen, but sometimes I like to lie awake and imagine what it would be like, I guess the fact is in my vision its like we are the only two people in the world and thats what makes it so special.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Hang in there . . . Please

Hang in there things will change.
Hang in there help will come.
Hang in there your never alone.
Hang in there God has a plan for you.
Hang in there your not lost.
Hang in there I feel your pain.
Hang in there your not broken you just think you are.
Hang in there life isn't perfect.
Hang in there your life isn't over yet.
Hang in there tears are meant to fall.
Hang in there I will help pick up the pieces.
Hang in there there is still beauty in the world.
Hang in there your not forgotten just misplaced.
Hang in there your life has a plan and its not finished yet.
Hang in there people still need you.
Hang in there let go of those secrets.
Hang in there take a deep breath and smile.
Just please hang in there.

This is written for a few people I know who are going through hard times. Life wasn't meant to be easy we get challenges thrown us and sometimes we just need help to pick up the pieces. 

Crazy Things

Once again I have butterflies in my stomach and no idea why! Seriously they like to randomly appear for no reason, I am hoping they go away soon :) here are a few crazy things that I have noticed recently about myself:
  • I own all the new Cinderella movies :A Cinderella Story starring Hilary Duff, Another Cinderella Story starring Selena Gomez and the latest one A Cinderella Story Once Upon a Song starring Lucy Hale. No idea why, but I do and they often get watched on a lazy Saturday or Sunday afternoons :)
  •  I am honestly not a very touchy feely person, I don't mind hugs but they have to be from the right person or given with my consent. The funny thing is my youngest sister is very touchy feely person.
  • I love The Body Shop watermelon lipbalm its the main lipbalm I use (there is another brand but have forgotten what its called as it was given to me from my Mum as a gift) and I love it! On average one pot lasts me a year as you only need a small amount.
  • I hated wearing stockings because I had to wear them for school but now that I don't I am fine wearing them and most of my dresses (minus one or two) can be worn with them.
  • I love having people over for dinner and cooking for them. Since starting a new church which neither of my parents go to I have found its good to invite some of them over to dinner so my parents can meet them and then they can put  faces to the names of the people I talk about.
  • I went and saw Mirror Mirror for the 2nd time and still enjoyed it. I actually liked having seen it before as it meant that I could focus more on the charcters and costumes rather than the plot.
  • I need to learn to say no more, whenever I walk into a shop and when I purchase something and they offer me a store card I always feel rude saying no! I have a stack of cards in my wallet because of this and I rarely use most of them.
  • I hate carrying around spare change (coins) if I have spare change I will most likely spend it or give it to my Mum (we have a jar in our house full of 5 and 10 cent pieces).
There are seriously some of the crazy things that I do :)

Monday, April 9, 2012

Easter Weekend

I had a great Easter weekend saying that, I had a great week from Wednesday night onwards so here is a recap of what I did from Wednesday night onwards:
  • Had dinner with my bible study group on Wednesday night and then we all went back to one of the guys places to watch Spongebob (the guys were in charge of the TV and that is what they picked!) and play board games.
  • Went to the art gallery, did some shopping then went to TAFE then to see the film Mirror Mirror and have dinner on Thursday night with my friend Gem :) it was hectic but very fun.
  • Went to a awkward Good Friday service (got dragged to my parents church) and then went into town for hot chips and to wander round the markets near the dock.
  • Went to my local theme park with some family friends and then my aunties and uncles place for dinner on Saturday it was safe to say I was dead by the end of it.
  • Did an Easter egg hunt (which my Dad was more exited about than my sisters!) and ate chocolate all day followed by a brief nap and then church and then more chocolate after church.
Yes it has been a very hectic few days but each day has been amazing and I wouldn't change it for anything :_

Monday, April 2, 2012

Winter is coming!!!

Its finally beginning to feel like winter (even though its Autum) here which is nice yesterday it finally rained after around 30 days of us not seeing a drop! I honestly hate the heat so the cooler weather is a welcome change (and its a nice excuse to buy some new winter clothes and dig out my boots and flats). So here are my favourite things about winter:
  • Rain.
  • Storms.
  • Being able to wear jeans and boots and all the other winter fashions.
  • Snuggling up with my cats listening to the rain.
  • Enjoying soup for dinner.
  • Hot showers on cold nights.
  • Wearing my dressing gown around the house (it is pink and very fluffy!).
  • Baking things and having the whole house warm up.
  • Putting the heater on and then having to fight the cats to get some of the warmth.

Honestly I love winter and would love to move down south where it rains heaps and the country air is so clean. Of course there are things I don't love about winter (getting drenched on the way to the bus or home, catching colds and flus and the cold mornings where you can see your breath.), but the good clearing out weighs the bad in this case! Even though its only Autum I can't wait for winter to be in full swing!