Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Setting a Deadline

I have set a deadline for me to get an admin job, my 19th Birthday on the 15th of September. I never thought I would do this but I know I need to if I don't have an admin job then I will move on and get a job in retail or something. It's impossible for me to let go of a dream I have had for 3 years now to work in an office environment so by giving myself a deadline gives me a chance to prepare to look into other options and get ready to move on if need be. Today I was told by my employment agency that I would need to work hard if I get another admin job, the thing is it wouldn't matter if I went into retail or hospitality I would still have to work hard if not harder. I have said this many times everything I have achieved I have had to work for so this is just another thing to work for. I am used to proving myself to other people and myself, I suprised many people (and me!) when I graduated high school as my anxiety was so bad during those years that it didn't seem possible and again when I completed my Business Certificate.
I have no idea if I will get an admin job by my deadline but I do know that this in God's plans for me and he will tell me where to go. I spent the past week praying that God would show me some sort of sign if I was on the right track yesterday I got a phone call regarding an interview for a job which I had to turn down as it was too hard to get to but it was enough to encourage me to stay focused and that for now I am on the right track.
For now I am praying and having to keep reminding myself that this is in God's plan for me.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Job application take 100?

I have spent the past 48 hours frantically trying to get a job application ready to submit before 9.00am tomorrow morning, I managed but by the end of it I was over all job applications no matter how simple! I had to update/write my cover letter, update my resume, answer all the selection criteria, scan in (as sending it was out of the question) the application form, mine and my fathers birth certificates (to prove that I am a citizen of this country?) , my tafe certificate, and the reference letter from my school (for good measure) and email it all in.
I almost gave it a miss but my Mum asked me the question do you think you can do the job? I answered that I knew I could so she told me to get on with it and that she and Dad would help me. I am so happy that I have sent it in with hours to spare, I am now praying that I get an interview. Its for the university where I did work experience but in a different section, I was stuck on how to answer the question: Are you a current employee of the university? Because I have an ID card (in my file), a computer login and an email address so in a sense I am, but not employed by them (or doing work experience) currently. I was just honest and explained that though I have never been officially employed by them I do have an ID card ect due to doing work experience with them earlier on in the year.
I am just praying that I get a chance to showcase my skills and again a professor there can vouch for me and they kinda know me so that helps.
I turn 19 in just under two months and if I am being honest I am not where I want to be, this time last year (even at the beginning of this year!) I had thought I would be working, doing something I love and glorifying God in some way. Instead I am unemployed after a stint in the work force and feeling worthless. I have been glorifying God though, throughout this I have told people that it's in his hands not mine, so many people have been amazed that I can still trust him through this. It's been hard at times and I have been mad at him, but the fact is he planned this for me and with his help I will get through this. For now I keep praying.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Letting the tears fall again

I didn't want to do another depressing post yet here I am typing one. This past week has been a hard one to say the least I spent all of Thursday locked away from the world, eating chocolate, watching Pretty Little Liars and letting the tears fall, I refused to venture out and had no desire to make my preasence known anywhere. My family was away over east while I had to stay home and work which turned out pretty well (not). On Monday I was told that as my other boss was taking over the company there wasn't a place for me in my current job though I could apply for the two admin/marketing jobs going (the chances of me getting an interview were none as if she wanted to keep me on she could've). I said I would work out the week then take all my holiday/sick leave the following week. I worked hard even though I knew I would be leaving, Monday I answered emails and dealt with enquries. Tuesday I cleaned the whole admin/reception area windows cleaned every centimetre dusted, filed everything and kept on track with the lessons that we had that day (make ups due to lessons missed previously). Wednesday was hard I wanted to walk out so many times as there were interviews happening and my anxiety was playing up yet I didn't I filed, answered the phones did everything that was expected of me. Thursday was to be my last day so I figured I could finish cleaning the lesson rooms and wrap things up but I didn't get to do that on the Wednesday I got a phone call saying I was fired and she wouldn't tell me the reasons (the few reasons she told me made no sense at all) and that she was doing me a favour calling me rather than emailing me.
I wish this story had a happy ending but today I got a phone call from the local government saying I hadn't been successful in landing the job. I am back to square one again and I don't know if I can go through all the interviews again. I have let the tears fall and I know they won't be the last. I don't know what to do, maybe I should just give up on my dream of working in admin/customer service? I am unemployed again, I feel like worthless and that though I have potiental (I am told) no one is willing to help me reach it.
I wish for once my life was easy, that I didn't have to work so hard to get everything.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Job Interview take?

Today I woke up had a shower, washed my hair, got dressed in one of my favourite dresses along with stockings, heels and a cute jacket, tried to ignore my nerves and attempted to choke down some food, before I caught a bus to the train station caught a train and then another bus. I then tried to get myself reaquainted with my settings before trying to build up and appetite by shopping. I managed to somehow eat a footlong sub (how I managed to is beyond me) and a diet coke (which I ended up throwing away as even the thought of it made me sick) and said hello to a familar face and we both laughed and said we would see each other in an hour. Then I tried to keep my food down walked some more and tried to calm my nerves. Then at 1.30pm I walked in to a familar building with nerves in my stomach and faced the firing squad or two people one of whom I knew. I somehow managed to get an interview where I did work experience when I was 17, out of 250 applicants I was 1 of 5 who was chosen to be interviewed. I faced the interview head on gave it my best, tried not to talk to much and knew that in then end it was in God's hands.

I'll find out by the 17th if I have the job or not, I really want the job but at the same time for all I know is that God has something else planned for me. My current job at the moment isn't ideal and I have no idea how long they will have a place for me (my current boss is leaving well the one who is always there and my other boss is taking over the company) as things are really messy at the moment. I have a meeting on Monday morning and I will see what happens but God's timing has never been wrong, I got a call saying I had this interview 1 hour after my boss told me she was leaving which made it less scary and reminding me that God's timing is never out.

So many people are saying that this job is mine, it was made for me and I'm perfect for it, but until (if) I get the call saying that it's mine, its not. For now I need to focus on one day at a time and pray that if it's in God's will then it will happen. I am just thankful that out of 250 people I was given the chance to sell myself to this amazing company.