Monday, July 15, 2013

Letting the tears fall again

I didn't want to do another depressing post yet here I am typing one. This past week has been a hard one to say the least I spent all of Thursday locked away from the world, eating chocolate, watching Pretty Little Liars and letting the tears fall, I refused to venture out and had no desire to make my preasence known anywhere. My family was away over east while I had to stay home and work which turned out pretty well (not). On Monday I was told that as my other boss was taking over the company there wasn't a place for me in my current job though I could apply for the two admin/marketing jobs going (the chances of me getting an interview were none as if she wanted to keep me on she could've). I said I would work out the week then take all my holiday/sick leave the following week. I worked hard even though I knew I would be leaving, Monday I answered emails and dealt with enquries. Tuesday I cleaned the whole admin/reception area windows cleaned every centimetre dusted, filed everything and kept on track with the lessons that we had that day (make ups due to lessons missed previously). Wednesday was hard I wanted to walk out so many times as there were interviews happening and my anxiety was playing up yet I didn't I filed, answered the phones did everything that was expected of me. Thursday was to be my last day so I figured I could finish cleaning the lesson rooms and wrap things up but I didn't get to do that on the Wednesday I got a phone call saying I was fired and she wouldn't tell me the reasons (the few reasons she told me made no sense at all) and that she was doing me a favour calling me rather than emailing me.
I wish this story had a happy ending but today I got a phone call from the local government saying I hadn't been successful in landing the job. I am back to square one again and I don't know if I can go through all the interviews again. I have let the tears fall and I know they won't be the last. I don't know what to do, maybe I should just give up on my dream of working in admin/customer service? I am unemployed again, I feel like worthless and that though I have potiental (I am told) no one is willing to help me reach it.
I wish for once my life was easy, that I didn't have to work so hard to get everything.

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