Sunday, December 15, 2013

Random thoughts

  • I am over the heat and Summer has barely started!
  • Random Facebook conversations that start from random statuses make me smile.
  • Whenever I begin to seriously think about looking at other job options God provides me with an interview opportunity.
  • I am finally beginning to feel that the church I go to in the mornings is home.
  • I miss the scent of rain and hearing it fall on our tin veranda at night
  • Christmas is coming and a part of me feels that I won't get the 2 big things on my list a job and to pass my driving my test.
  • I love the craziness Christmas and to me its the whole month of December not just the 25th.
  • Tomorrow I am going to spend the day filling out a job application which means that at some point during the day I will yell at the computer.
  • I had another very realistic dream the other day that sent me wandering round in a daze all day but felt I couldn't tell anyone as it had to do with something I am trying not to convince them of (it has to do with a boy enough said).
  • I have stopped biting my nails after being a chronic nail biter for as long as I can remember I am just praying that I have stopped for good this time round!
  • I find it hard to say to people that aren't Christian that I am just waiting to see where God's plan next takes me. Which is stupid as I should be able to tell them but I often seize up just before I say it.
  • Everyone I know seems to be getting married, engaged or in serious relationships and I can't help but wonder when it will be my turn to at least have a chance to fall in love.
  • I just realised that there was a time that my doctor didn't think I would ever even get through year 10 yet I graduated high school and did a TAFE certificate so for me to be where I am today is better than expected.
  • I hate having to explain to people why I'm not doing Uni is it really that uncommon for someone to want to work and have no desire to do Uni?! There is nothing I particularly want to study and even if I did I just don't that I could cope at the moment. To the people who do do Uni that's great, but please don't judge me because I have no desire to go. I am happy with my decision and have come further than many people thought I would.
  • I often dream of escaping this world just for a few hours and I think this is why I read so much as its a way of escaping.
  • Having Alfie has taught me that not everything is about me, I know that's one of the reasons why I stuck it out for 12 weeks at the music schools even when I came home with tears down my face. I realised I needed to care for him and I needed money to do that. I also was able to look forward to seeing him at the end of every day.
  • I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be up to doing full time work just over a year since I had major anxiety attacks that put me out of work. When I told my doctor he couldn't believe it and was so proud.
  • I am thankful that my parents have always and continue to do so support me in whatever I choose to do. They remind me of how far I have come and at times that's all that keeps me going.
  • I have learnt to just keep praying no matter what happens as sometimes when things are tough God shows us the beauty of even the smallest things to help us keep going.

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