Changing of plans

 In just under 4 weeks time on the 15th of September I turn 26 and it's weird to think about it, I have no plans for celebrating my 26th birthday (except for seeing my psychologist if you can count that?) maybe I will go out for lunch with friends or something but I'm not too sure? My 25th year around the sun hasn't looked at all like I expected mainly due to Covid (which I expect is the same for a lot of people). If it wasn't for Covid my parents and middle sister would be in Peru right now as missionaries, I would've (hopefully) had a job by now and life would be continuing on as normal. Instead due to Covid I am still looking for work, half the country is in lockdown (not where I live thankfully!) and all the events on my calendar have been cancelled. Then there's the small (biggest understatement) issue with this dizziness which started a week after I turned 25 and I honestly thought it was due to low iron. But almost a year later we're still no closer to working out what's causing it and it's now consistent with waves of intense dizziness throughout the day. Of course I have my doubts whether I could survive my parents being in another country, working and dealing with this dizziness, so there is a part of me that is thankful that it happened when it did but it's still frustrating. 

I have mostly given up on the job search at moment just because it's another thing to deal with and there's not that many jobs getting advertised. A few weeks ago I was feeling really unwell due to new dizziness medication and a job advert popped up and I forced myself to apply for it. It was for an advocacy position, I did this application including selection criteria which I really don't like doing and I got my mum to look over and submitted it thinking it was going to be a dead end and expecting a rejection in a few months time (which is always the case with job applications). Yesterday I was driving and my phone and I pulled over and answered it, it was my employment agency if they could put me forward for an admin position which I agreed to even though it's not a position I could see myself doing long term but a jobs a job. I then noticed that I had a missed a call from the company I had applied for and rang them back  and left a message at the receptionist and they eventually called me back. So long story short next Friday I have a job interview and it's my first interview in forever. 

Then today I saw my doctor and I was fully preparing to beg to stop the medication the neurologist put me I'm having weird dreams on it so my quality of sleep is being affected and I'm not coping on it thankfully he told me to stop it and to also cancel the neurologist appointment. My doctor has no idea what to do except to wait and see and keep monitoring me which I hate to say I agree with. I still feel deep down that we're missing something, but at the same time I want a break from medications and tests and specialists. I'm going to see my doctor every 2 weeks for check ins and we're not giving up on finding any answers but for now we're just taking a step back.