Thursday, June 9, 2011

Not in control...anymore

I went to the doctor today and he gave me the answer I was expecting (as much I didn't want to hear it) wait and see how it goes and if the feelings don't stop after the next few months (when I have to see him anyway) we can look into other options. I get what he's saying but it just makes me feel helpless, I want to do something to stop these feelings but I can't, I just have ride it out and hope they end.

I told my mum this (my dad went with me as he sees the same doctor) and she told me how year 12 is a hard year for everyone no matter what subjects your doing. As you realise that at the end of the year whether you like it or not you won't be going to school anymore. This scares me as I really don't know what I am going to be doing next year, I mean I have some ideas but I don't know where I will be. I have always been someone who likes to be in control of situations and I admit I can be a control freak at times, so maybe this is why I am feeling like this because I'm no longer in control over things anymore. I don't know, but for someone who has always liked to be in control and knowing that I have no control over the future, the future scares me ALOT.

So for now I can only hope and pray these feelings disappear as I hate feeling this way!

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