As you get older you get told that its not ok to cry, you shouldn't admit to crying and that when you do happening to cry in front of others its an embarrasment to them as much as it is for you. This morning I was checking my emails and I came across the dreaded email telling me unfortunately I didn't get the job I went for on Monday, the one I so badly wanted and I felt I was perfect for. Without warning the tears fells and I found myself putting myself down 'You shouldn't have said that' 'why did you have to be so distracted on that one question!' 'you would've failed at it anyway' were just some of the thoughts that went through my head. In situations like that I run, I quickly posted an update on Facebook (as I promised so many of my friends that I would them know when I heard back), texted my parents, then I got in my car, dropped my sister off at the bus stop and went through my iPod until I found some Echosmith and blasted it. I drove until I reached the shopping centre I had to be at to run some errands and distracted myself. I lost myself in the aisles of Priceline trying to find blue eyeliner and picking up some face wipes, I found the ribbon I needed for a project at Riots and did some window shopping.
When I got home I checked my emails again and responded to a couple that I needed to but hadn't due to be distracted before and there the email was in my inbox staring at me and the tears once again fell. I read my friends nice comments on Facebook telling me that the company doesn't know what's its missing not hiring me and I will find the right job eventually and answered a call from my Dad telling me is proud of doing so much to find work and to hang in there.
I let the tears fall and it helped. Its ok to be sad and disapointed, its ok to feel gutted and wonder what you're missing if you know in your heart you did the best you could, its ok to let the tears fall.
Because no matter what they say its ok to cry whether your alone or in front of people, whether you sad, disapointed or another feeling completely. Its ok to let the tears fall.