Because eventually I am going to get over answering the following questions I thought I would put them here so maybe this will clear up some confusion among people as to why I am resigning from my job:
Why? Because having anxiety (and Dyspraxia) sucks! I went to work stressed, came home stressed and nothing was helping reduce it, things did partially help but in the end I had to admit that the job was doing it for me. I didn't like who I had become and realised that in order to avoid a breakdown leaving the job would be best. I also felt like I was drowning and when my probation got extended I knew it was time to realise that maybe this wasn't job for me.
I thought this was your dream job? Dreams change and honestly I liked the idea of the job more than the job and I am happy I realised this now rather than later.
What are you going to do now? Sit at home and binge watch TV shows - not really haha! At this stage I have no idea, continue with my studies, maybe find some casual work or look for something in date entry? Get back into ReachOut because I love doing that and I am craving doing it. Pray a bit and read my Bible and see where God leads me. I am open to anything and at this stage its just a matter of waiting and seeing what God has in stall for me.
I really wanted this job but at the end of the day I realised that just because I wanted it didn't mean that God wanted it for me and I am learning to be ok with that. I also realised just how stressed I was when I kicked my car on Saturday night (the day after I resigned) because I needed an outlet for my stress and anxiety regarding this job. I have grown in the past 6 months and I am thankful to have been given this opportunity and at the end of next week I will walk out of the office happy that I have given it my best shot and ready for wherever God takes me next.