Thursday, March 17, 2016

Everything Together

Yesterday I had a mini breakdown, I had a phone call from Centrelink and they are not helpful at all to say the least! According to them my anxiety isn't an ongoing condition and shouldn't affect my work at all, so therefore I left my job of my own accord not because I had to in order to keep on top of my mental health. This is despite them having countless medical certificates and me being with a 'disability' (ie anything that could affect your work life long term) employment agency. I might've lost it a bit on the phone as they weren't being reasonable which resulted in me letting the tears fall in the middle of town. I was pretty much told that I had to go back to my doctor to get another medical certificate within the next two days explaining that my anxiety affects my work and that was why I left my job. My doctor is hard to get in to on short notice so I ended up booking an appointment with another doctor at the practice who sees his patients and could access my records. I then have to go to Centrelink with the certificate so they can put it on my records and they can (finally) process my claim. Thankfully by some miracle I was able to get a cancellation so I am now seeing my doctor this afternoon, I'm not a big fan of doctors (its one of my major anxiety triggers) and its only because I have been seeing my doctor for so long that I am able to go see him anxiety free.
I have been slowly applying for jobs and try to apply for at least one a day, of course I am extremely picky with what jobs I do apply for so that makes it hard. Yesterday I was sitting down just relaxing and recovering from the above when I got a phone call from a company I applied for. It is a customer service role but with a few major differences one its for a smaller company which is actually a care/mental health support/disability support agency and they work with people who have disabilities, though it is every day the hours are in the morning and they are flexible, its also just not customer service I will be doing home visits as well. I can see myself being a good fit for the position and it ticks all the boxes. The interview is next Thursday at 9.00am so if you guys could pray for me that would be awesome. I just feel like this is step in the right direction and maybe this job is the one for me.
I used to think when I was younger 21 was the age when you had everything together and as I am learning at no age do you ever have everything together. At 21 I still cry and loose it, I still have no idea what I am doing and my anxiety still makes my life hell at times. I just have to keep reminding myself that even if I don't have it together God has it together for me and that's more than enough.

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