Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Diploma and God's timing

The email sits in my inbox staring at me congratulating me on getting accepted into the Diploma of
Community Services never mind that I have yet to finish my Cert. 4 in Community Services or that the thought of committing to another year of study terrifies me.
At the start of this year my aim was to get another qualification and then get a job instead I found myself loving what I was studying and realising that this is what I want to do for a career long term. I then found myself having zero desire to go back to unemployment when my course ended and I knew if I wanted to give myself the best chance of getting a job a diploma would be valued.
I wanted to say that this was an easy decision and to many it seemed I made it easily but it was one I wrestled with over many weeks and prayed about. I didn't want to commit to another course let alone one that goes for a year but deep down I knew it was what needed to happen.
The concerns I had in my mind about money and whether I could continue to support myself financially was met with the reminder that God provides and that I will deal with the expenses as they come up with faith.

If you had asked me when I was 18 what I would be doing by now (almost 6 years later) I would've said working in an admin role, married and thinking about starting family but here I am single, not working and finishing off one course in 7 weeks and going onto the next. It's strange as I know people who are living the life I would've thought I would have by now and while some part of me is jealous about it, I have never doubted that this is where I am meant to be.
For so long I felt like I couldn't be in a relationship as the first few weeks of a new job are not fun for me with anxiety so I refused to let myself even think that I could date while unemployed. Then a friend told me it shouldn't matter if I was employed or not and that if a guy couldn't handle me at my worst he didn't deserve at my best. I wrestled with what she told me but other people confirmed this so I slowly started to open myself up to the possibility. It's taken me so long for me to go yes I can date and it shouldn't matter about my employment status because if its the right person they won't care so nor should I. What I do know is that will happen in God's timing and his timing is more important than our ideal timing.

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