Thursday, May 2, 2013

Just an update

I have been meaning to blog all week and I started a blog post the other night but my anxiety had clearly taken over my head at that one moment so it wasn't 'me', I have been busy every day this week I have had job training except today but tomorrow it starts again. I have lasted one day more in this job than I did in my last job, I have had no anxiety attacks in this job and I hopefully won't, two big steps I have made. It hasn't been easy and on Monday and Tuesday I felt my anxiety clouding my head and did shed a few tears (which is normal) but I still survived both days. Wednesday I felt like I was being fed to the sharks as the person who I job share with and is training me called in sick, so I was left manning the desk answering the emails and phone calls having no idea what I was doing. Thankfully my boss was understanding and allowed me to ask her a few hundred questions, she also said I did well considering.
I spent Monday night stressing over little things, like the transport issue (its 10 minutes by car, 1 hour by bus or a 30-40 minute bike ride), if I would have an anxiety attack the next day, what if admin work isn't for me ect. I was pretty much  told to go to bed, quit stressing, pray and know that everything would happen according to God's plan for me.
I am so thankful I have an amazing employment agency! My consultant is amazing and has been keeping in close contact with me by phone encouraging me and listening to my worries and fears about the job, she has also rung my workplace to let them know that she is around if either me or them have any concerns/worries. Its been really helpful knowing she is on my side and I can call her if anything major happens.
I am eyeing off the six week mark as that is when everyone keeps telling me I will finally be settled (and will most likely be when I adopt my kitten), until then I will focus on one thing after another and keep praying that God helps me.

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