Friday, December 4, 2015

Answers

This week has been one of the worst weeks of my life and I have no idea why. Normally when I have bad weeks I know why but this week there is no explanation for it. Things should be getting better at work instead I felt like things were going backwards and I honestly just wanted to hide. By Tuesday I was ready to run away and leave everything behind yet I stuck out the week and it didn't get any better. I guess I am feeling confused as to why God would give me this job if I am struggling so much with it. Is he trying to tell me something like this career isn't the one for me?! I mean I love my job just I feel like I am drowning in it at times and I hate letting my boss and myself down. I have prayed so much for this job and waited so long for it, yet when I get this job I feel like I am drowning.
I have also realised why I am taking loosing my license so hard, its because I feel betrayed by God (there I said it). I worked so hard to get it and there were times when I never thought I would pass the stupid practical test yet I managed to loose it in a freak accident. I feel like God has betrayed me by taking it away, this year was meant to be smooth sailing. Instead its been the complete opposite in so many ways and all I have to show for it is a job that I am struggling in at times and a car that I can't drive.
I guess I have a lot of questions right now and I want answers, I doubt I will get the answers but I still want them. Until I get the answers I will keep trusting God and trying to understand why God has let the things happen to me, because he knows what he is doing even if I have no idea.

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