Thursday, June 30, 2016

Feeling Drained

I have been feeling drained as of recently, I wish I knew why but I am struggling a lot with just trying to stay focussed on the bigger picture! There have been NO suitable jobs available for me to apply for and everything just feels likes its a standstill. I know I should trust God with it all buts its really hard when you feel like you are staying in one spot!
Next week is the first week of the school holidays and I honestly thought I would have a job by now (I feel like I am repeating myself from this time last year!) but I don't and with very few prospects I am trying to make good of a an annoying situation and am volunteering at my churches annual July school holiday program. It will be a crazy week and throw in a few other commitments and an employment agency appointment and I am unsure how I will survive (probably with a lot of prayer!). I love doing it but by the end of the week I am half dead and last year I was living off caffeine (which won't work this year as I have given it up being the crazy person I am!).
Its just hard when you know that God has a plan for you but yet it seems like he has forgotten about you and you feel like a failure.
The other night I had a dream/nightmare where I was in my last job completely overwhelmed and just not being able to function (also screaming "I don't belong here!" and trying to make myself wake up from it) I woke up deep down knowing that this is what would've happened had I stayed there yet it's hard to accept when I felt like I had it all yet I threw it away.
The thing is we don't know what God will throw at us, the people we will meet along the way or what our future holds, all we can do is trust God and know that he knows what he is doing.

If you have a chance could you please pray for the following:
  • That the holiday program will be a success, that the kids will get to hear about Jesus and that the leaders stay energised and well throughout the week.
  • That I will remain patient while waiting for a job and I will eventually get a job sooner rather than later!
  • That I will feel reenergised and not so drained as I go through this transition and waiting period.

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