Today was a rough day, not only was I in pain from my 5km walk yesterday (only ReachOut would be worth walking that much for!) but it hit me that I have been unemployed for 6 months and 1 week. I honestly thought that I would be employed by now but there is no end in sight and its super discouraging! My phone rang twice today and both times I hoped that it would be regarding a job interview and both times it wasn't one was about a 5 day gym trial (I'm in pain from walking so going to the gym isn't on my mind right now!) and the other was my employment agency wanting to move my appointment back tomorrow (which is fine). It seems that no matter how much I willed the phone to ring regarding a job interview it didn't (praying that it will tomorrow)!
It got me thinking if I knew what the future held would I have accepted the job over a year ago knowing that a year later I wouldn't be signing another contract for a year and celebrating surviving a year, instead I would at home wanting to hit my head against the wall? I don't know, a part of me thinks I wouldn't have and another part of me feels like I still would've given it a shot because at the end of the day I survived 6 months in a high stress job that many people who don't battle anxiety have told me they wouldn't have been able to survive.
Everyday when I get in the car I pray that God will show me what my next step should be and guide me through this tough time and show me light at the end of this tunnel because I can't see it and I have no idea what I should be doing.