Sunday, January 1, 2017

Dear 2016

Dear 2016,

I can't believe you are finally over and I am super happy for it to be 2017!

This past year has been hard and I have felt like I have reached breaking point so many times.

Lets start at the beginning, on the 20th of January I walked into the licensing centre expecting to have to resit many tests to get my license back but by something that I can only see as an act of God I got it back that day. I couldn't believe it and even now many months later it still feels surreal (here's the post I wrote on it).

In February things just went downhill I made the decision to leave my job on the advice of my doctor, psych and employment support agency. This came as a shock to many people as I didn't talk about just how much I was struggling and refused to let anyone fight my fights. It had seemed up to that point I always had someone to fight for me (which is in no way a bad thing) but when I got that job I had made a decision that I was going to handle it the best I could and stand up for myself.
It took me quite a while to rebuild my self confidence back to the low level it was initially at when I started the job and my mental health took a beating because of it.
Looking back that job clearly wasn't right for me and I had no voice there and got very little support.

The rest of the year on the unemployment side has been uneventful and the job market is non existent, I've had a couple of interviews (including a somewhat disastrous group interview) but they have lead to nothing.  When I left my last job I decided that I would trust God during the whole process and not stress about it, which is easier said than done but I KNOW that God has a plan and he has a hand in everything.

At church this year's focus was on prayer and I have definitely learnt to pray more! I find myself praying non stop during the hard days and as I am drifting off to sleep I find myself praying and just getting rid of anything that is worrying me. I have prayed a lot but its been great to focus on it and get to hear about people's stories when it comes to God answering their prayers and their prayer life.

This year I said goodbye to some friends as they moved away, reconnected with others and met some awesome new people. I find when you are going through tough times you discover who you're friends are and its been great know that I have all these people I can call on when I need it.

I am still single and sure I would've liked 2016 to be the year of the boyfriend but hey maybe 2017 will be the year (a girl can dream haha!) :)

I continued with being a ReachOut Youth Ambassador and I am so thankful for the opportunities its given me. I ended giving up my laptop for the month of May to raise some funds and was mentioned under the fundraising section on ReachOut.com! I also ran a few stalls and did another 5km walk, all while getting to raise awareness for mental illness and the awesome work ReachOut does.

Two huge posts were written on this blog both covering my experiences and struggles with anxiety and bullying. I never in a million years thought I would be able to write these posts but I did and its been really therapeutic and just great to share my story in more detail.

Of course lots of fun things happened in 2016: I got to see The Next Step in concert with Megan which was an amazing experience and I was in awe of the talent of the dancers. I played lots of board games and had many laughs with friends on Saturday nights. I binge watched way too many tv shows. Sat in cafes and read, prayed and just watched the world around me go by. Experimented in the kitchen and baked some yummy treats. Attended an ethics and the bible course, just to name a few things which made 2016 a memorable year!

I feel that I have come out of 2016 stronger and more determined, 2016 has proven not to be easy but its also shown me that God always come through even if at times we can't see it.

Thanks 2016 for a mixed year, here's praying that 2017 is better.

Love Erin

*new calendar was a Christmas gift but you buy it here - pictures don't do it justice it makes me so happy to look at it!


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