Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Saying Goodbye to my Grandma

I wasn't going to write about this, I thought I would be crossing a line and I have another post almost ready to go but it doesn't feel right to post that at the moment not when so many things have happened.
I don't write a lot about my family mainly because I don't feel I should and also it doesn't feel right at times, but I am going to make an exception mainly because if don't post something I know I will later regret it.
My Grandma has spent the past 2 years suffering with a strain of Parkinson's disease that lead to dementia, this has been extremely challenging at times and whenever the nursing home would ring I would always expect the worse. She has slowly deteriorated over the years and has gone from being a bright woman who could beat anyone in scrabble to a woman who didn't make much sense at all. Last Monday my Mum and uncle met with the nursing home's doctor and were told that my Grandma didn't have long left (this was after being told the Thursday before that she wasn't eating and now bedridden), and there were multiple days last week that we felt would be her last. Yesterday at 4.15am my Mum got the phone call that my Grandma had passed. This didn't come as a shock and we all felt some relief knowing that my Grandma was now with God.
My Grandma was an extremely Godly woman and her prayers often made sense when the rest of what she was saying didn't. I remember asking her how she knew my Granddad (who passed away when I was 10 due to cancer) was the one for her and her response was the following: If you like a guy and you think he could be the one, pray to God and ask him to make it happen if it doesn't work out then know that God has someone better out there for you.
I am yet to even have a boyfriend but I always remember that advice whenever I meet someone who I see potential in and know that if its meant to be then God will make it happen.
I have so many memories of my grandparents, like how my Grandma would always send my sisters and I letters telling us about her week and her upcoming plans written on the back of old cards, how she would and my Granddad would travel down most school holidays with their caravan and how most mornings I would go visit them in my pyjamas which seemed like the biggest adventure. How my Grandma was an amazing painter and I would brag about her to all my friends. I have a painting she did for me on my bedroom wall and I love looking at it, more recently I have realised that some of my paintings have similar styling's to hers despite her paintings being in water colour and mine in acrylic.
There are many things that remind me of her and I know they will continue to do so. The 3 main things that spring to mind are the following:
  • Blue Wrens - these were often featured in her paintings and I knew she loved them for their vibrant blue colouring. She had collected quite a few blue wren items over the years and I know that whenever I see something with one on them I will remember her.
  • Princess cake - this was one of her favourite sweets and it has since become mine. The Swedish cake with layers of sponge, jam, custard, cream and topped with pale green fondant will always go down in my mind as her cake. I recently went shopping with Megan and I decided to treat us to afternoon tea and gave her a choice of what cake to share well she chose the princess cake and when I asked her why she told me it was because of Grandma.
  • Magnums - its safe to say my Grandma had a sweet tooth and Magnums were always her ice cream of choice. She loved to treat us to these during Summer and I know whenever I will eat one I will think of her.
I thought that she died I wouldn't take it this hard as I have had a couple of years to prepare for it and I have been grieving slowly for who she was but it hits me in waves and I know it will take me quite a while to get used to the fact that she is no longer with us.
My Grandma was an amazing woman and I am honoured to have known her.

No comments: